Chris Thorburn (he's not gay, despite the moustache),
Alasdair Beckett-King (he's not Scottish, despite being ginger)
Kathleen Hughes (her nan thinks she has a lovely face, despite being registered blind)
It was a warm day. I'd been writing late. That's my excuse for twitching awake twice during the recording. I couldn't get away with pretending it was a back spasm, because I didn't yelp in pain.
Best thing about the day: a free lunch from Greggs as two of my app freebies kicked in at the same time. Result!
Six of us headed into Glasgow to see These Wicked Rivers. They weren't the headliners, and it did feel odd justifying the expense of seeing them play as a support act, having already caught them twice this year, but they are damn good.
As they were again tonight. They played a tight setlist on a cramped stage and sounded great.
I'd never heard of headliners, A Thousand Horses. I'd listened to their album and figured the night would be about line dancing, cowboy hats and slide guitars. Boy, was I wrong! For the first two numbers, they sounded more like Oasis than Nashville. The singer's posture at the mic wasn't as pronounced as Liam Gallagher's, but there's definitely an influence. Only when the guitarist brought out his slide did it feel like we were veering into country mode.
They are a good band, but tonight they got strangled by the sound in the venue. Everything was too loud. Rather than turning down the bass and drums, they turned up the vocals and the guitar till it produced feedback. I wasn't the only one holding my ears during some of the songs. Which is a shame because they rocked.
I thought I was dreaming when they started playing the opening bars to Champagne Supernova, then actually sang it. I hadn't been wrong about the Oasis influence after all. The singer was even dancing like Liam, bopping across the stage to the beat. The only thing missing was the parka. I liked the singer. He had a commanding presence, a likeable charm, with a Brad Pitt vibe about him. Shame I couldn't hear his vocals clearly.
They didn't play a long set, just under an hour and a half, but they did spend lots of time afterwards meeting the fans, as did These Wicked Rivers.
Crowdwise, two individuals drew my attention (I won't go into Scott's sniggers and chattiness, because he can't always help it). The first was a young lad in a baseball cap near the front. He liked to raise his arm and take videos, not of the entire song and not always pointing the camera at the band. Every time I saw his wrist appear, with more bracelets than hair, I wanted to take him aside and give him a lecture on how to shoot a video. He enjoyed himself, though.
The second irritation was a well-to-do couple who stole the space in front of us during the interval. They were in their fifties and were ruthless as f@ck. Evident from her enthusiasm towards the band, she wanted to be at the front but hadn't arrived early enough. That wasn't going to stop her, though. She had moves and didn't care whose view she blocked. We weren't her only victims. One man went to the bar, and the pair immediately claimed his space. His wife complained to him upon his return that her view was spoiled, but there was nothing he could do. The woman tried it on again, dancing down to the front, putting her arms around a couple at the barrier before those behind called her out and she reversed away again, holding her hands up in surrender, still dancing. Cheeky bitch!
Anyway, she didn't spoil my night. The venue's sound did that. It could have been so much better.
No setlists available at the time of writing.
These Wicked Rivers
Josie, TWR's manager, alone on the balcony
A Thousand Horses
After they stole the old man's space, Before she danced to the front.
Meet and Greets
Ticket Price: £30 via Alan (he got them from TicketWeb)
I hadn't been to the Edinburgh Playhouse for a rock gig since Def Leppard in 1988. Yet here I was, thirty-seven years later, to see Bobbie Dazzle, in a support slot for Alice Cooper. Yes, you read that right. I'm not here to see Alice Cooper. He's just dessert.
Five days earlier, this event was not even in my diary. I'd never heard of Bobbie Dazzle, beyond seeing the name on the band list for the Maid of Stone Festival. Then my world turned upside down after I watched her and her band perform. I've described the incident in a previous blog, so I won't repeat it here. Needless to say, I was gobsmacked by her guest list ticket offer. We'd only just met.
The trip to Edinburgh took some planning. Where was I going to park? Where were we going to eat? When could I collect the tickets?
Thankfully, my wife is a mistress at organising and found me the Omni Q car park and a bookable table at the Slug and Lettuce within the Omni Centre. She didn't want to see Alice Cooper, preferring to remain at home with the dogs, so I took Bob instead.
Getting my timing right was important. The Playhouse box office opened at 6 pm. The car park access started at 5.55. The restaurant was booked for 6.15 and the show started at 7.30. The only variable was how long it would take to make the drive from Paisley to Edinburgh. Google was not helpful in this respect, offering me a time range of between 1.5 hours and 2 hours and 40 minutes.
We left at 4. The sat nav informed us we'd arrive at our destination at 5:20. Bugger!
I've never driven so unhurriedly in my life. I was somewhat disappointed when the articulated lorry I'd been tailing at 50 mph pulled off at Livingston. I still had twenty minutes to lose. Fortunately, Edinburgh City Centre traffic took care of that. We arrived 5 minutes early and waited near the entrance to the car park until our access time.
It felt thrilling to ask for my guest list tickets at the box office. The clerk asked me for my name, smiled, then handed me a white A5 envelope (official Edinburgh Playhouse stationery), which had my name and 'x2' marked on the front in purple marker pen.
I didn't open it right away, waiting till I was outside. I felt a degree of anticipation. I didn't know where we would be sitting. Would it be somewhere good? Or in the gods? Where would a support act guest be seated?
Sliding out the paper tickets, I scanned the words and saw 'Stalls, row Y,' with the accompanying seat numbers. We were in the middle, beneath the balcony. Fantastic!
We ate and then headed for the venue. I'd asked Sian (Bobbie's real name) how I could repay her for her generosity. I told her I couldn't stretch as far as diamonds without it becoming grounds for divorce. She'd suggested buying her merch.
The first two booths we found didn't stock any of her merch. Everything they had was exclusively for Alice Cooper. I emailed Sian to let her know I couldn't locate her products. Surprisingly, given it was ten minutes before showtime, she replied, informing me her merch table was up on the fourth floor in the bar.
It was too late to head up, so we settled in. The two seats in front of us remained empty, so the view was good. The theatre was only half full when Bobbie took to the stage. Lots of people were coming and going. I filmed the first song, but captured lots of people's heads as they crossed my view line on their way to their seats.
Flowers on Mars
The sound in the theatre was initially poor, as if it wasn't fully reaching the area under the balcony. It improved, though, as the show continued.
Watch Out (ABBA cover)
I loved every minute of her performance again. At Maidstone, we'd been standing closer, but here it felt like a proper show, what with all the spotlights and beams. She even had an extra guitarist. It was a support slot, though, so it did feel less relaxed. She had a tight set to perform. There wasn't much conversation until near the end when she announced that she would be heading to her merchandise stall after her set, recommending that we come up and see her. How could I refuse?
I bought a couple of T-shirts and waited at the side to thank her again in person, this time determined to be brave enough to ask for a photo with her. The bar was bustling and loud, so my nerves kicked in. I wanted to leave but didn't. She initially didn't recognise me, then twigged who I was when she saw the envelope I was holding. I didn't manage much chat, but did ask for the photo.
I've never quite figured out how to smile naturally.
Bobbie Dazzle setlist
Flowers on Mars
Revolution
Back to the City
Merry Go Round
Antique Time Machine
Watch Out (ABBA cover)
Lightning Fantasy
I'd been to see Alice Cooper once before, at the Armadillo. I didn't enjoy the show, mostly because I had misconceptions about what to expect. I didn't realise that the show was more a piece of theatre than a rock concert. I thought he'd been rude, not even bothering to acknowledge the city he was in until the end. No chat between the songs, just one set piece after another. A show on rails.
I knew better what to expect this time and enjoyed it far more. The execution (if you'll pardon the pun) of the staging was state-of-the-art, with well-utilised visuals on the massive background screen, framed by staircases on both sides. Alice's voice was clear and strong, the band excellent, and the supporting cast acted their parts well, getting murdered at the appropriate points in the show.
The punters around me were well into it, rocking like loons. The young lads behind me found the show exceedingly exciting, their pre-pubescent voices piercing as they pointed out to each other what they could see. At one point, I felt a hand move my arm down, which was a bit cheeky. They couldn't help themselves, though. It was an excellent show for a young person to remember.
The drive back was incident-free, and we arrived home by midnight.
Alice Cooper Setlist
Lock Me Up (Introduced by two bell ringers before the curtains opened to reveal a huge stage-sized wanted poster)
Welcome to the Show
No More Mr. Nice Guy
I'm Eighteen
Under My Wheels
Bed of Nails
Billion Dollar Babies
Be My Lover
Lost in America (Alice wore a USA flag-branded jacket for this song)
He's Back (The Man Behind the Mask)
Hey Stoopid
Drum Solo
Welcome to My Nightmare
Cold Ethyl
Go to Hell (Alice's wife came on stage as a dominatrix whipping the band, but Alice strangles her with the whip)
Poison
Guitar Solo
Black Widow Jam
Ballad of Dwight Fry (Alice gets beheaded by his wife dressed as Marie Antoinette at the end of the song on a guillotine)
Killer (Instrumental)
I Love the Dead (Band without Alice. Alice's wife parades around the stage with his severed head)
School's Out / Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2 (Alice returns to the stage in a white costume, the band intros during cover and first addressing to crowd)
Encore:
Feed My Frankenstein (Joined on stage by a giant Alice Frankenstein's monster and the rest of the cast from the show)
(Finished with a cheer for Ozzy Osbourne.)
Ticket Price: Free, courtesy of Bobble Dazzle.
Actual cost with petrol, parking, dinner and merch: just over a ton, but it was worth it.
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