Stereophonics, "Kind 2020", SSE Hydro, Glasgow. Wednesday, 11th March 2020.

Security was tight tonight at the Hydro with the male bouncer vigorously frisking me, only pausing at my jacket pocket when he was unable to identify a tepe brush. He was, however, from touch, able to identify a sweetie wrapper inside my denim's change pocket. At one point I thought he was going to ask me to cough (he didn't go that far - my dignity remains intact). Conversely, my wife got waved in without any physical interference. Fortunately, she wasn't tooled up with anything other than her elbows (we had standing tickets).

Inside, our tickets were stamped as were our wrists (in case they were subsequently removed by some coronavirus-preventing handwashing). Access to the arena was still closed via the door stipulated on our ticket, Door B, so we waited in the foyer until we overheard a security person direct another ticketholder to Door A.  

The door confusion seemed to work in our favour as the arena was quiet and we managed to grab an ideal spot close to the front of the mini-stage in the centre of the hall. The extended stage was probably the reason for the door closure, not wanting a last-minute influx directly in front of this area.

The support act, the Wind and the Wave, also played on Kelly's solo tour, only now there was four of them, adding a drummer and an electric guitarist. The bigger sound was better but still of no great interest to me. The Texas act remained on stage for an interminable forty minutes.

As usual, just before the headliner appeared, latecomers pushed their way forward. Two such people, a young man and his wife, landed beside me, him carrying a cardboard rack with four pints of Foster's lager. She helped him remove their lids and took one for herself then handed him his. He exclaimed what was he thinking buying four, then proceeded to down the first. I can't tell what age he was from his looks. If he was a cut of beef, I would describe him as fatty. His wife looked older but maybe living with him had aged her. She gave him his next pint and lifted out the last one so he could discard the tray. She then handed the last pint, leaving him with one in each hand, a process I can imagine her using at home to prevent initiation of foreplay. 

The band begins, though the hall lights don't go out until midway through the first song. Our view is excellent with Kelly singing right in front of us. They play hit after hit and the sound is brilliant, the lighting fantastic and the crowd loves them. So far, so good. About forty minutes into the gig, Mr Beefy, decides he wants to take a picture but needs both hands to hold his phone so wedges the plastic tumbler with its near-full pint between his upper arm and chest. I then discover he is a premature spiller as the contents ejaculate down the side of my jacket, trousers and shoes. He shrugs, holding the now crushed container with a dribble left inside, and gives me the look that I'm sure he's given his wife a thousand times: "Sorry". I spend the rest of the gig smelling of beer, slowly drying out.

It didn't dampen my enthusiasm though.

More people push in but we hold our ground. The posh girl nearby gets annoyed by the jostling and tells her boyfriend. She requests they stop. They ignore him. She puts up with it for a while then communicates to her boyfriend that she's going. They both leave. 

My wife is their next target in their quest to move forward. They don't reckon on my wife's elbows. This is the woman that protected a barrier for forty minutes at a Take That concert while her friend went to the toilet. They are going to wake up with some mighty sore bruises on Thursday.

The gig was superb, a real joy. A great view, great lighting and great songs. Kelly at one point told us he has recorded over 160 songs. With such a strong back catalogue, the show was always going to be good but even the new songs fitted in nicely. I loved it, despite smelling of beer.

Setlist: 
C'est la vie
I Wanna Get Lost With You
Bust This Town
Geronimo
Maybe Tomorrow
Have a Nice Day
Mr Writer
Hungover for You
Restless Mind
Local Boy in the Photograph
A Thousand Trees
I Wouldn't Believe Your Radio
Traffic
Make Friends With the Morning
Indian Summer
Mr and Mrs Smith
Fly Like an Eagle
Superman
Don't Let the Devil Take Another Day
Handbags and Gladrags (Mike d’Abo cover)
Before Anyone Knew Our Name
Sunny
The Bartender and the Thief

Encore:
Elevators
Just Looking
Dakota

  

  

Steve Martin and Martin Short, "The Funniest Show In Town At The Moment", SSE Hydro, Glasgow. Monday 9th March, 2020

Their last show was called An Evening You Will Forget for the Rest of Your Life. I didn't realise they intended this as an instruction because the new show is the same as the old one, albeit with a slightly amended script. The material has been updated to include local and contemporary references (Paisley gets a mention tonight), cutting out the more America-centric ones but, essentially, this is the Netflix special, extended edition.

The Hydro was far from a sellout with the upper level curtained off along with large chunks of the middle tier. This meant that the sound echoed in the empty space when it wasn't being drowned out by laughter. We had front row seats with an awkward viewing angle at the far left of the stage. From here, we could see their auto prompts and couldn't help but notice how often they regularly referred to them. Still as 74 and 69 respectively, you can forgive them for needing assistance with the lines.

I didn't care. This was Steve Martin, my comedy hero, live. The jokes are still funny third time around because both performers know how to sell them. Steve has comedic precision and Marty gives everything his trademark showbiz gusto. It was exciting to be there, to laugh along with the audience and to pick up on the fluffs and the one duffer that didn't travel well. I totally bottled the opportunity to go onto the stage to perform as one of the local Three Amigos, keeping my eyes down when Mike Farrell, sitting in for Jeff Bibko, came down searching the audience for volunteers.

I was only disappointed by the merch on sale. I'd brought extra cash to buy a memento but it was all really poor: a white mug with an orange outline of their faces, a tote bag with the same image, a CD and a couple of generic tour posters. They all looked cheap and amateur. Not worth buying.   

Instead, I have my memories and a slight crick of the neck from twisting my head to the right all night. But it was worth it.

David Baddiel, "Trolls: Not the Dolls", Kings Theatre, Glasgow. sunday 8th March, 2020

Essentially, this is a show where a comedian spends two hours using PowerPoint to show us his funny tweets and replies and the responses from his fans and internet trolls. As a concept, it should get boring but it doesn't because David uses the format to breakdown the responses into groups and themes and explains his rationale for engaging the trolls with humour, highlighting their own ignorances and prejudice. It takes us to some dark places (the abduction of Madeline McCann and the Holocaust) but always with an eye on humour and the ridiculousness of the trolls. 

I chuckled consistently, even laughing out loud at times. Maybe if I'd been a follower of his Twitter feed the hilarity would have been lessened by familiarity but his presentation is faultless. He even let us slag him at the end using a mock troll account.

The night is a joy.     

The man on the right laughed his head off and the show hadn't even started.

The audience feedback at the end.

    

Elvis Costello and the Imposters, 'Just Trust' Tour, SEC Armadillo, Glasgow. Thursday 5th March, 2020.

Walking to the venue inside the Big Red Tube across the expressway, our ears were assaulted by the teenage cult of Capaldi screeching out his hit, Before You Go, at full volume, louder even than the buskers with their amps. The girls were heading to the Hydro to hear Bathgate's biggest pop star. We were going to the Armadillo to see a different act, where the average audience age was old enough to be their papas. 

Elvis Costello is sixty-five, beat prostate cancer and recently won another Grammy. He's been around since the late seventies and deserves kudos for some great songs. I wouldn't describe myself as a rabid fan, owning one greatest hits CD from 1999 and another album on tape, but I like him enough to be curious to hear him play live. 

Unfortunately, to quote his own lyric from Oliver's Army, "I would rather be anywhere else, but here today". It was painful. He always had a peculiar singing voice but tonight it was more off-key than on. On top of that, Steve Nieve on keyboards seemed to want to play a different tune to the rest of the band and be louder than everyone else. It didn't come across as particularly cohesive. 

There were some pluses. The two backing singers, Kitten and Brianna Lee, were fantastic, synchronising their moves to the music and possessing amazing gospel-style voices. The lighting was occasionally impressive and Elvis can play a mean electric guitar and tinkle a tune on the piano. It was just a shame that when he sang he occasionally murdered the song, Shipbuilding being awful. I'm glad he didn't attempt She. The frustrating thing was sometimes he was great, belting out the tune and nailing it, such as during the final number, Peace, Love and Understanding. I just think I shouldn't be cringing listening to a performer of his calibre. Simon Cowell would have been holding up his hand to stop the performance saying he'd heard enough, sending him home.

The fans lapped it up, giving Elvis a standing ovation multiple times during the show. I think many were still reliving the glory days of their youth, their hearing aids muted.  

On the walk back to the car, the Capaldi girls were still outside singing that tune. I suspect they had a better night than me. 

Setlist
Strict Time (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Clubland (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Green Shirt (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Accidents Will Happen (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Watch Your Step (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Tokyo Storm Warning (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
I Let the Sun Go Down
(I Don't Want to Go to) Chelsea (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Unwanted Number
Watching the Detectives (Elvis Costello song)
A Good Year for the Roses (George Jones cover)
A Face in the Crowd (Elvis Costello song)
Flutter & Wow
I Can't Stand Up for Falling Down (Sam & Dave cover)
Radio Radio (Elvis Costello song)
High Fidelity (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
From a Whisper to a Scream (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Alison (Elvis Costello song)
Everyday I Write the Book (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Pump It Up (Elvis Costello song)

Encore:
Shipbuilding (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
I Want You (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Oliver's Army (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding (Brinsley Schwarz cover)

Queen Symphonic with the RSNO, Royal Concert Hall, Glasgow. Sun 16th February, 2020

Having experienced "The Music of Bond" last year, We thought we'd give this concert a go. It featured the RSNO with a five-piece rock band and four singers from the West End production of 'We Will Rock You'.

Splitting Freddie's vocals over four singers was a good idea. None of them got his teeth or his moves but they each brought a different element to the vocals and together produced album quality harmonies. They were not attempting to reproduce a Mercury performance, just creating a feel-good show and they succeeded. 

When the orchestra took the stage, it looked like the lead violinist was Brian May only smaller, even in her high heels. It took me a bit of time to get used to the amalgamation of rock band and orchestra, with the rock drummer sticking out and the guitars sounding muted. Brian May has a distinctive sound which these guys didn't quite match. They gave it a good attempt though.

By the second half, with the singers warming up the crowd, getting them on their feet, the show took on more of a concert feel with people singing along and doing the iconic Queen claps and arm salutes. The audience appeared predominantly bald and wrinkly but there were a deceptively large number of young ones too. 

Not every song was a success. At one point I thought I was listening to Mary Poppins sings Queen as one of the girl singers enunciated each lyric most eloquently. The long-haired bloke singer does a good rock vocal though, giving plenty of oomph to Tie Your Mother Down.

Bohemian Rhapsody was a class performance from everyone and finished the main show, leaving We Will Rock You and We Are the Champions for the encore. Overall, it was a good way to spend two and a half hours on a windy Sunday evening (thanks to Storm Dennis).  

 

    

Ásgeir, Classic Grand, Glasgow. Sunday 9th February, 2020

The omens were not good: a wife reticent to leave the dog alone at the cabin while Storm Ciara battered the UK with 80 mph winds; a car tyre that deflated twice on the way to Glasgow; the multi-storey car park whose pedestrian exit was closed due to refurbishment; getting puddle splash in my socks on the way to the venue. Everything was saying Don't go.

Yet, I was determined. The dog would be fine - the big bad wolf only blew down the wooden house in a fairy tale. I had an electric pump so reinflating the tyre was not going to be a problem. The car park had other (slightly more inconvenient) exits. My socks would dry.

Firstly, before the gig, we dined at the Amber Regent. As always, a glorious Chinese feast. A good start.

The venue was new to me but we arrived well after doors open so we got straight in after the ticket checker painted a dot onto the back of our hand. Then, up, up and up all those stairs. The room had a low stage at the front, a balcony on two sides and a long bar on the other side. We didn't have long to wait for the support act, two local lads with guitars, one acoustic, one electric, who played some pleasant songs. A decent support act.

Having realised the invasion of the tall people had begun, I looked around for a better view, spotted a gap in the balcony and decamped. The room wasn't so large that being at the back was going to be an issue. It also got us away from the beam of the orange spotlight that had blinded me during the support. Our new position was right behind the sound engineer. We could see the setlist on his laptop. Sixteen tracks followed by two more for the encore. 

Some men wearing hats appeared through the doors beside us and wandered through the crowd. This, we discovered shortly afterwards, was the band. They wandered onto the stage, did some final checks of their equipment and headed backstage again. Then, at 9 pm, they started the show.

Asgeir sat at his keyboard for the entire show, giving a shy, static performance, rarely chatting between songs. His four bandmates also did not move around, possibly due to limitations of the small stage. Despite, the low-key performance, the audience was transfixed, appreciative of the aural landscape being created. There were no annoying conversations between friends, few troubled the bar staff despite the bar being open and there were only a few camera phones being held up from time to time. Everyone was there for the music. 

He only sang one song in his native Icelandic yet everything about his sound embodies the spirit of his culture. It's unlike anything I've heard before and quite beautiful. 

Despite the omens to the contrary, it was a gig to savour. 

Sublime.

The Chicago Blues Brothers, "A Night at the Movies", Kings Theatre, Glasgow. Friday 10th Jan, 2020.

I love The Blues Brothers film, the soundtrack and the live shows as performed by Dan Ackroyd and John Belushi. 

I booked the tickets for this show on a whim. I didn't check if it was my Friday off or how I'd get to the venue on time or how knackered I might be if I had been working. It was The Blues Brothers. It would be a fun night out.

I turned out I was working, I didn't have time to eat beforehand and I was shattered and sore from a hard day. I was so tired, during the first half, I closed my eyes briefly and nodded off. I didn't have the energy to stay awake. That shouldn't happen during this kind of show. 

So my review does not accurately reflect how much the rest of the audience enjoyed the night. They were dressed up, pulling dance moves and singing to their hearts' content. There was a wide age range present, with three generations of one family for example in the row in front of us. To be fair, the toddler did fall asleep too, on top of his gold chain wearing grandfather, but at least he lasted beyond his normal bedtime.  

I wouldn't call this show a proper Blues Brothers show. It was like they were wearing the clothes but had lost the attitude. For example, I've never seen Elwood grinning like he was Marti Pellow. I was irritated by the way the guitarist bounced about in the background, giving much more energy to his performance than the rest of the band. And I was put off by the way one of the girl singers looked scarily like a Buffy vampire with her massive forehead and teeth. I know it's wrong to judge someone by their looks but her face looked like a Botox nightmare.

It felt like this was an evolution away from a regular Blues Brothers tribute show. They still played the big numbers, Sweet Home Chicago and Everybody (Loves Somebody), but the movie theme pushed us into things like 'Footloose', 'I've had the Time of My Life' and even 'Shallow' from A Star is Born, Elwood duetting with the vampire. The intention I'm sure was to give the repeat audience something different but I wanted the proper Blues Brothers and these guys weren't. Jake didn't even attempt a cartwheel. 

My final complaint was that the entire cast was white, which seemed unrepresentative giving the music was originally the blues. A little diversity could have meant Elwood wouldn't have had to pretend to Cab Calloway during Minnie the Moocher.

I finally got my dinner at 11 pm. It was too late for four whole fried chickens and a Coke so I settled for a chef's platter from my local Indian restaurant. It was the best thing about the night.