Gut Reactions (post-gig memories and other trips): Madness, The Ladykillers Tour, OVO Hydro, Glasgow. Friday 3rd December, 2021

Prior to the gig, we enjoyed a sneaky game of Macdonalds' bingo, eating in, waiting patiently for our one number to be called to win an evening feast for two: ticket price - an evening feast for two.

Our stomachs duly satisfied, we headed for the venue and joined one of the long but quick queues outside, firstly to get out Covid passports checked then to get frisked then to get our tickets scanned and a wrist band attached. My frisk was not without incident as the security man discovered my change pocket was full of forgotten dog treats. He looked at me suspiciously but let me in. I suspect the smell would have told him they weren't edibles.

Squeeze came on just after 7.30 pm and played a tight hour-long set full of familiar hits and a couple I wasn't so sure about. Glenn Tillbrook can rock a mean guitar which I was not expecting. It was great to hear the Hydro singing along to a strong support act.

The DJ did a fine job of keeping our vocal cords and our dancing feet warmed up between the bands. Dressed in a suit and shades, a handkerchief poking out of his jacket pocket, he had the style and verve of Reggie Kray and played some fine tunes.

A lesser band would struggle to follow Squeeze but this was not a concern for Madness. Drawing back the curtains to the backdrop of a London street, complete with a telephone box, red pillar box, street lights, railings and an Underground entrance, Madness took the stage, grabbed the audience and held on till they departed before the encore. Then on came a bagpiper to play our national anthem and Scotland the Brave and the band returned to top off the evening with a couple more hits, finishing on Night Boat to Cairo, playing us out with Monty Python's Always Look On the Bright Side of Life.

Suggs is an excellent raconteur and ringleader for his band of miscreants, full of tales and comic quips. The sound was occasionally muddy but improved as the gig progressed. The audience loved them and danced and sang along in their fezs, trilbys and porkpie hats. It was a great night.

The gig did have its share of drunken doughballs who insisted on pushing forward but not in an ill-mannered way. In the break between the bands, one incensed individual was carried out off the ground at a forty-five-degree angle by a posse of security guards, his double chin straining as he struggled to keep his head upright while he cursed and argued with them. It was the first time I'd seen this level of action. Normally the drunks get led out not carried. I suspect he'd been fighting.

Would I go back to see Madness again? Probably not. It was a special night but I've ticked them off my bucket list.

Setlist : Squeeze

Take Me I'm Yours

Up the Junction

Hourglass

Cradle to the Grave

Slap and Tickle

F-Hole

Labelled With Love

Please

Pulling Mussels (From the Shell)

Tempted