Pet Shop Boys, Dreamworld The Greatest Hits Live, OVO Hydro, Glasgow. Sunday 29th May, 2022

When I agreed to go to a Pet Shop Boys concert, I don't know what I was thinking. I'm really not much of a fan but it was a Greatest Hits tour and my wife liked them when they supported Take That so I thought I'd give it a go. 

It turned out to be one of the worst gig experiences I've ever had. Sat in row P of section 006, I had a clear view of the stage - until the giants descended. Giants who liked to dance. Most of my night was spent looking through gaps or staring at the screen at the side of the stage, which unfortunately often displayed the same graphics as the stage backdrop rather than showing the band playing. The heavier dance numbers resurrected teenage memories of wanting to flee from nightclubs (often doing so) because the driving beats were doing nothing for me except inducing nausea.

To be fair, the sound was exceptional, the band were great and Neil Tennant's singing was far better than I expected. Lots of people around me (except those whose view was also blocked by the giants) were having a great time. The finger whistler was irritating especially as he thought he was adding to the music with his consistent shrill peep peeps, like an oystercatcher seeking a mate, but some strong words from the females in front of him eventually put paid to his accompaniment.

Highlights for me were Go West and It's a Sin, the numbers I knew best. 

I left the venue feeling grumpy, cold and dissatisfied. Then the evening took an interesting turn.

I'd arranged to give a lift home to a work colleague and his friend. We'd pre-arranged where to rendevous as we were in separate parts of the building. After the venue emptied with no sign of them, I texted and phoned with no response. I called again and this time he picked up, triggering a continuous trail of apologies as the pair exited the seriously long taxi queue. He was a bit inebriated. I don't think I've ever heard someone repeat so often how much they love me as we walked back to the car. He'd had a great night he said, despite being evicted from the venue less than halfway through the show for "dancing". (It wasn't clear from the confusing conversation when/if the apologetic staff let them back in again later).

"You know what? It is what it is."

I think I'll be reminding him soon "You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk". It's a shame I didn't record him.

Ticket Price: £115 each, plus £15.55 Service Charge. 

Total £130.55 per ticket.

Setlist

Suburbia

Can You Forgive Her?

Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money)

Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You)

Rent

I Don't Know What You Want But I Can't Give It Any More

So Hard

Left to My Own Devices

Single-Bilingual / Se a vida é (That's the Way Life Is)

Domino Dancing

Monkey Business

New York City Boy

You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk

Jealousy

Love Comes Quickly

Losing My Mind (Stephen Sondheim cover)

You Were Always on My Mind (Gwen McCrae cover)

Dreamland

Heart

What Have I Done to Deserve This? (restarted after Neil's mike failed)

It's Alright (Sterling Void cover)

Vocal

Go West (Village People cover)

It's a Sin

Encore:

West End Girls

Being Boring

Playout song: Spread a Little Happiness (The Cliff Adams Singers)

My view for most of the show

But there were a few good pics snatched 

Brydon, Mack & Mitchell, Town to Town. Theate Royal, Glasgow. Wednesday, 25th May, 2022

It wasn't "Would I Lie To You?" but it was funny.

The three talented comedians entertained us with their quick-witted responses to their audience interaction. Very little material was scripted bar the opening and finale but that didn't matter as all three are masters of the quip and the banter between them was top notch too. 

The evening's format consisted of a quiz in the first half, where Lee and David were to guess the most popular answer according to an audience survey to questions about Glasgow. The second half involved the three acting as agony uncles to written dilemmas posed to them by members of the audience.  

An example of the type of quiz question was "Which celebrity makes you most embarrassed that they represent Glasgow". Top answer: Nicola Sturgeon, followed by Lulu and Bible John.

One dilemma involved a woman asking what she should do about her partner wanting her to suck his toe, the one whose nail fell off because it was infected - their answer: say NO.

The funny lay in how they got to this answer. They did this by interviewing the dilemma setter in much the same manner as they would do on WILTY. Roving microphones on all four tiers of the theatre allowed everyone to hear the probing discussion. 

When asked to give advice to the man whose wife no longer found him sexy now that he had a double penile hernia, the three bantered suggestions for a while then asked to speak to him. Only it turned out he wasn't there. His wife replied instead, informing them he couldn't make it as he was recovering at home from the operation to fix the problem. A third story involved a window cleaner wondering if it was okay for him to put a note through a deceased person's door asking for his money, having already spotted her corpse in an open coffin in the front room. She hadn't paid him for a few months so he added on a few extra cleans to his final bill hoping the bereaved family wouldn't want their departed relative to be buried in debt.

The quality of the night was tempered by the calibre of the audience. There were a few misfires (the tuneless singer and the whistler) but these were in the minority. Overall, this was glorious spontaneous comedy. 

Now, was I telling a Lie or a Truth? 

Ticket Price: £45.18 plus order processing fee £1 and venue levy £1.50.

Josie Long: What Now? (Free show recording for Radio 4). The Stand, Glasgow (8pm performance). Sunday 22nd May, 2022

Josie Long has long been on my list of comedians to catch live. Somehow I've never managed to see her. When an advert for this recording taking place in Glasgow popped up on my Facebook feed, I immediately stopped the dog walk to register my interest in attending and, to my pleasant surprise, managed to acquire two tickets.

We found a space on Eldon Street nearby to the venue at 7.15 pm not realising initially that the parking charges apply there between 8am and 10pm Monday through Sunday. I still didn't buy a ticket. It was only a few hours on a Sunday night. What was the worst that could happen? A £60 fine? The show was free so I took the gamble.

We went for a drink in a nearby pub as the doors weren't due to open till 8 pm. While sipping mine, I took a huge bout of queue fever and had to go check how long the line was outside the venue. It was already at the gate so I joined it and gave my wife a running text commentary about what was happening. She remained in the pub, she being the sensible one who'd rather enjoy her wine at an appropriate pace. Dylan Moran (the comedian/actor) arrived and went into the venue then popped back out again as if he'd turned up to the wrong gig. Then the previous show's audience came out (by the hugs and kisses between some of them, not recently) and I got the sweats as the line tightened up. Where was my wife?

It was fine. Despite not seeing my lie that the queue was now moving, she arrived with plenty of time before we got to go in. First, there were wristbands to be handed out, tickets to be scanned and Priority Ticket Holders to be identified and moved to another line. Of course, by the time the VIPs got in, it was raining.

To my joy, my favourite seat on the bench in front of the raised balcony was still free and we had the perfect spot to watch the show - and the audience. 

All the best freaks were here: from the beret-wearing skinny blonde with shoulder-length locks with bubble-gum-pink highlights to the check-shirted blokes with twirly, designer beards and statement spectacles, to the persons of indiscriminate gender with deliberately semi-shaved heads and tattoos that convey their life story from the trauma of birth to their most recent breakup. Josie is such a warm and inclusive character, her audience ticks all the letters: L, G, B, T and Q. Her stand up has the honest passion of Mark Thomas and the huge heart of Mother Teresa and, now she's moved to Glasgow, she proudly swears like a local, which causes her a few problems with retakes as the show was being recorded for early evening Radio 4. 

I have no idea how they'll be able to edit these two performances down to half an hour. This was the second of two shows being recorded tonight, the material overlapping but not identical each time. Our show came to about an hour (including the preamble) and when the light came on to alert her to the thirty-minute mark, she still had another quarter of an hour of material left to deliver. The editing is going to have to be very tight.

One of the best bits of the live experience was hearing the show in its raw, uncensored form. The audience got a massive buzz from hearing her swear knowing she was going to have to repeat the line with a clean version immediately afterwards.  

Afterwards, Josie was so thankful that we had all given up our Sunday night to see her. She was funny and heartfelt and silly and outrageous. It was a great night and another plus - I didn't get a parking ticket. 

Deacon Blue, "Cities of Love", OVO Hydro, Glasgow Saturday 7th May, 2022

My wife detests Deacon Blue. She'll switch stations if one of their songs comes on the radio so I only bought one ticket for this show. It was supposed to be a 2020 Christmas present to myself but then that gig got pushed back, twice. 

Usually, prior to a gig, I'll listen to the band's music to familiarise myself with their songs but this one kind of crept up on me. I hadn't kept up to date with the band's latest music and got a surprise when I discovered they'd released a new album, Riding on the Tide of Love last year. I played it on the way in (and back) and liked it a lot.

Tonight, I found a parking space with no problem, entered the venue without fuss (no queue in my line) and even snagged a spot relatively close to the stage in the middle where there were no tall people in front of me. I stood behind two short people so had an uninterrupted view.

The support act, interlopers, came on at 7.30 pm. I'd never heard of them and didn't realise the main man was the guy from The Big Dish until they played their hit, Miss America. I have to admit I found their music a bit soporific, a bit like Marillion on Mogadon. If I'd heard them on the radio, I probably wouldn't be aware of listening until halfway through and even then I'd only be mildly interested. At least they only played for thirty minutes. That's probably doing them a disservice. Their studio recordings may well be wonderful. I did amuse myself when I realised the fifth member of the band, who never turned around and had a strap on his back, was actually the bassist's reflection.  

Then, before Deacon Blue launched into their show, at 8.30 pm, the tall people appeared: one woman with an afro, her equally tall partner and another beanpole who pushed in front of them. This was okay though because they were on my right. I still had a super view. Then a group of four overexcited ladies appeared on my left, all full of chat, posing in various group combinations for selfies while slugging downing their drinks. I was momentarily distracted when one of them, the buxom one, decided to use her cleavage as a drinks holder, lodging the tumbler's handle down there to free up her hands for waving and selfie-taking. It was a wondrous sight and from what I could see from her dry T-shirt, despite her weird poses, not a drop was spilt. Quite a feat. During the course of the show, the girls metastasised to infect nearby individuals with their friendliness, putting their arms around strangers and engaging them in conversation. I'm not the kind of bloke that attracts that level of female attention so observed them with amusement. Unfortunately, the group of four only lasted till the end of the main set, departing before the encores because one of them burned out too soon, the alcohol and the dancing leaving her with the dead-eyed stare of death. 

By now, the mingling had allowed the tall people to drift in front of me and I was consigned to watching the rest of the gig on the big screen except when I peeked between their necks. Photos had to be snapped with arms extended above my head. The afro lady filmed the end of the show so I did get to watch it on the small screen of her phone. 

Deacon Blue shouldn't work as a band but somehow they do. They were never hip, never huge (but had plenty of hits) yet the audience of this nearly sold-out Hydro show retain a strong affection for them. Tonight, I think I figured out why.

Love.

Ricky loves to write well-crafted songs, he loves to tell stories, he loves to perform and he loves playing with his bandmates, especially Lorraine, whom he loves dearly. Tonight, she was as wacky as ever, a free spirit dressed like an escapee from a mental asylum in her long white gown, dancing like she was aff her meds. The vocal harmonies between her and Ricky shouldn't work but they do, giving the band a dynamic that forms its heart. 

During their two-and-a-half-hour performance, I did feel some nostalgia for their golden era but this gig was so much more. It was a delight and a pleasure to attend and I loved it.

The only downer came afterwards as I walked alone back to the car with no one to share the experience. Although those four girls from earlier were loud and more interested in themselves than the gig, they at least had each other (and lots of weirdly posed photos to show for it afterwards). I hope they all got home safely. 

Ticket Price £45 

Service Charge £6.10

Setlist