Richard Herring "Can I Have My Ball Back?" Stand Up Tour. The Stand, Glasgow. Friday 28th March 2025

My wife puts up with a lot. Dragging her along to a standup comedy about testicular cancer wouldn't normally be her cup of teabagging, but she knew Richard Herring was funny so agreed to attend.

Doors opened at 6pm, so taking the car wasn't an option without paying through the nose to park (on-street parking is £1 for 15 mins up to 10 pm). The plan was to drive to Ibrox, get the subway to Kelvinbridge, and then walk to the venue. I figured half an hour for the drive, 20 minutes for the subway, and five for the walk. We left at 5 o'clock (pm, obviously). Either I was lucky, or I'd overestimated my timings. We got there at 5.40 pm. There was only one person waiting, so we didn't join the queue but rather initiated it. The cold stare from my wife mimicked the windchill as a rain shower dampened her enthusiasm. 

I was happy, though, to be second in the queue, later third when the woman's partner arrived. The seats I preferred on the balcony had been reserved, so we sat close by in the same row. Sorted. I bought my wife a red wine. She was happy that it came in a proper glass.

We had an hour to kill before the show started. I noticed the songs being played all had a common theme. Richard must have searched Spotify (other music streamers are available) for any song containing the word "Balls". We got Chef from South Park's "Salty Chocolate Balls", Pulp's "Can I Have My Balls Back, Please?", "Bouncing Balls" by The Wiggles, "Big Balls" and  "She's Got Balls" by ACDC, among a myriad of other ball-related tracks. Talk about setting a tone.

I passed the time reading the programme, which could be downloaded via a QR code. That's a clever, money-saving technique for adding value to the show. I'm sure after the tour, he'll make it available on his website, www.RichardHerring.com. 

The show itself was much as expected. I've listened to (and attended) his RHLSTP podcast often enough to understand his sense of humour. There were lots of jokes and silliness (such as a spot of ventriloquism with his talking bollock) as he raced through his timeline, from his initial awareness of the testicular swelling through all the different stages of diagnosis to its eventual removal and post-treatment therapy. The heart of the show shone through his love for his family, despite his evil witch of a daughter randomly predicting he would die in fourteen months, long before the cancer diagnosis (she was four at the time). The pictures of him falling into lava and being eaten by a crocodile were amusing.

One shock I had during the show was when he leaned to one side and said a line, addressing the audience on his right. Then he leaned to his left and said the line again for the other side, before repeating the process for comic effect—a play straight out of Stewart Lee's book. Sacrilege or taking the piss? Regardless, it was still funny, just out of character for Richard.  

After the show, Richard remained in the corridor to sign autographs, sell merch, and pose for selfies. We didn't wait. Given the length of that queue, I sensed that would be pushing my wife too far. She enjoyed the show but wanted to get home.

The Subway ride back to the car reminded me of being at the Transport Museum, only with real people instead of video passengers. We sat at the end of a carriage near the rubber connectors. A tannoy message said to report anything suspicious to the staff. I said I'd have to report my wife because she'd been nice to me, and that qualified as suspicious. I got that look—the eyes tightened—that said 'ha ha', but not in a funny way. She did laugh after I banged my head against the carriage wall, the unexpected turbulent rocking motion catching me unaware.  

It was a good night with only minor concussion. I was still able to drive home.

Ticket Price: £44.60 for two (including £1.60 booking fee) directly from The Stand.

Fin Taylor "Ask Your Mother" Tour. The Stand, Glasgow. Thursday 2nd May, 2024.

I didn't get my favoured seat at The Stand tonight. Traffic woes on Byres Road delayed our arrival, so we ended up joining the queue around the corner of the building. I could still see the comedian clearly, so no biggie. 

He's not on stage yet.

Susan Riddell opened the show. I'd forgotten entirely that I'd seen her perform at the GICF Gala until I checked this blog site. The material was fresh. She talked about being single; the problem with dating apps; and got a warm response for a punchline where she yodelled. An assured performer, she won the room. 

Fin is not a comedian who appeals to everyone. He is transgressive (I don't mean that he's aggressive toward trans people) in that he draws his own line for topic acceptability. It's dark. He opened with paedophilia, discussed the confusion about what constitutes grooming, swirled around the plug hole of all forms of mental health and related how he'd take a bullet for his kids, with him firing the gun. Then he related some thoughts about modern-day Auschwitz (which oven does the cafe use?) and finished with some 'Dad' jokes. 

Sometimes, I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to laugh. Was he punching down or finding laughs from the situation? Most in the room didn't seem to care, generating big laughs. 

I admit I found him funny. I laughed, even when I shouldn't. Not many comedians are prepared to venture into those dark areas, so I commend him for doing so. Definitely an acquired taste.

Ticket Price £14.00 plus 80p booking fee direct from The Stand

Ania Magliano: "I can't believe you've done this" The Stand, Glasgow. Thursday 15th February 2024

It's a gamble when you decide to buy tickets for an unfamiliar act purely because she sold out her entire Edinburgh Fringe run before you'd even finished browsing the listings. Obviously, I missed the memo about how good she is. 

Stupidly, I entered this gig into the wrong week of my calendar and then compounded the error further by arranging time off for that date. As such, I didn't have a great deal of time after work to get to the venue. It became a bit of a rush job. Fortunately, everyone else was in the same state of mind so I fitted right in. One incident turned my stomach, though. Stuck in traffic on Byres Road, the white Range Rover in front of me decided to speed off down a side street, only to be stopped by a cyclist crossing the road. The altercation that followed resulted in the car driver trying to reverse back over the cyclist in revenge for the cyclist striking his car. Sickening (and stupid - he'd have damage to the front and back of his car).

I found a space on Woodlands Road, parking perfectly for once, only to notice I was on double yellow lines. They stopped in the space behind me. Sitting in that space was a car with its headlights on, the engine running, and two people in the front. I delayed my exit, hoping they'd move. But they just sat there, chatting and flicking through their phones, so eventually, I gave up and found somewhere else. The time I'd wasted sent my brain into stress mode, fearing we'd end up at the end of a long queue and not get a seat inside.

We were second in the queue. 

Fortunately, my wife puts up with my insane quirks.

She decided against sitting in my usual spot, preferring to sit at a table where she could rest her wine glass. So we sat in the raised area behind my usual spot.

There's a man in my chair?
(I no longer care - see later)

The venue filled up fast. If it wasn't a sellout, it was close. I'll admit to taking a modicum of pleasure in watching latecomers (i.e. anyone not there for doors open) struggling to find a seat, searching in vain, then standing somewhere they shouldn't and being asked to move by the staff. The gentleman in front of us, who sat in my usual spot, had an empty space beside him, big enough for one. An older couple, arriving late, wanted to sit together and decided to ask the people near him to bunch down so they could both fit in the space. The dungaree-clad girl relented but fumed to her date about having her angle of view narrowed. It was priceless. Even then, the interlopers couldn't sit properly with insufficient space for both of them, the man having to sit forward on the edge of the bench. I was so glad we hadn't sat there. 

As such, I now have a new best seat. 

I couldn't make out the name of the support act, but he was a thirty-two-year-old English comic who sold us his status as a low self-esteem chap whose first-ever girlfriend dumped him, leaving him bereft of house contents as she took everything she bought with her. I warmed to him despite his loser status. He finished on a bit about how his new girlfriend, also a stand-up, asked him for a "hall pass", having been asked by Dan from Bastille if she'd like to go for a drink. 

He never revealed what happened.

After a short interval, Ania came on to deliver her show and I'll admit I was not expecting to be so entertained by someone so young. The quality of her writing is outstanding. Her delivery reminded me of a GenZ Josie Long, only with less interest in social commentary and more on the joys of gossip, relationships and being bisexual. She's a product of her time. The various threads about her life (her reaction to her bad haircut, her taking up boxing, her therapy, her love life, her breast reduction) all weaved together to finish on a sucker punch that I didn't see coming despite the bomb she lobbed in halfway through her set. The journey she shared was well worth travelling. 

A great first gig of the year.

Later research revealed that this show was named by The Times in their Top 4 Comedy Shows of  2023. I also discovered Ania was previously a member of the Cambridge Footlights. I didn't find out, however, how she got on with Dan from Bastille. Perhaps that will be revealed in her Edinburgh show later this year.

Ticket Price £14 plus booking fee.

Tour blurb:

To the hairdresser at [redacted] Salon: You can take my money. You can take my dignity. You can take too much off the ends. But you cannot take my right to talk about it on stage.

This is a show about the worst haircut of Ania Magliano's life.

Ania's critically acclaimed 2022 debut run sold out at Edinburgh, Soho Theatre and Leicester Square Theatre.

She's supported Marc Maron, Cat Cohen and Ed Gamble on tour, and writes for Amelia Dimoldenberg's Chicken Shop Date. 

Ria Lina - Riawakening. The Stand, Glasgow. Thursday 12th October 2033

 

Sometimes a comedian garners a long list of radio and television credits yet remains mostly unknown. Ria Lina is such a comedian (currently). I've long admired her work and was keen to see her perform her first tour show. I even missed my Thursday night writers' group meeting to do so.  

My wife and I arrived at 7.20 pm for a 7.30 pm doors open. There were only five people ahead of us in the queue. Not a promising start. Inside, the staff escorted us to our seats. I noticed the raised area had been blocked off and the entire padded bench row had been marked as reserved. So much for arriving early to snag my favourite spot. I guessed they wanted us to fill the floor tables first. I suspected this was going to be an intimate show. Not as intimate though as a pre-Taskmaster John Kearns' show where they'd curtained off half the room.

With an hour to go before showtime, I queued for drinks at the bar (because they weren't serving them in the toilet) and, as I reached the front, Ria appeared from backstage, clutching an empty plastic cup. Of course, being a gentleman, I insisted the bar staff serve her first. Ria thanked me. She has such a lovely smile. I was buzzing. She must have been too (not from meeting me) as she started to sing quietly along to the upbeat Beatles song that was playing over the sound system, grooving her shoulders to the music.   

As time went on, the venue filled up nicely. They even opened the raised area to accommodate the extra sales on the door so by the time the lights went down, there was a nice buzz about the room. (Or maybe it was just me, still buzzing from meeting her).  

She opened with some gentle crowdwork before introducing her show, about how after eighteen years of marriage, she is now single. She took us on her journey, getting to know her life, her family and her much older ex-husband, whom she married while at Uni (he was a karate instructor, with sixpack abs to die for - only he didn't die, hence the divorce, eighteen years later).   

Ria knows how to craft a joke. She packs her routines with punchlines, sometimes to the detriment of honesty, favouring the gag over truth. Some comedians adopt a persona on stage but I felt this was the real Ria hiding behind her routines. It ran like an extended club set, filled with guaranteed bangers, that stopped short of revealing any vulnerability. This choice may have been deliberate. She is career-minded, focused and determined to be a success. A complete workaholic (not wokaholic, as I initially mistyped, because that would be terribly racist, although she does play the Asian card a lot), she's looking ahead, needing to earn enough money to pay for her care home in later life when she's become her mum, a shrivelled-up Yoda.

After the show, she informed us she would be staying behind for a meet and greet for anyone who would like that, with flyers and posters to sign. I told my wife I'd like to wait. Only, being polite, I sat and waited and watched others move in to be next. My irked wife prodded me to get up and queue otherwise we'd be here all night. Ria was chatting freely with her fans so by the time it was my turn, I was shaking with nerves. She shook my hand and asked me my name. I answered and told her I didn't want a selfie, I'd like a signed flyer instead. As she reached down for one, I admitted I was nervous. She asked what I did and we shared a mutual admiration for our respective jobs. She wrote a lovely dedication. I'm so relieved she didn't ask for a dick pic in return (she has a routine about them before you ask). 

I'm still buzzing from meeting her. 

 

Ticket Price: £15

Blurb:

In the aftermath of a global pandemic, comedian and scientist, Ria Lina has had a Riawakening and sees the world differently. In this, her highly anticipated debut tour, Ria tackles the issues of coming out of a global pandemic, the new normal, divorce, dating in a new digital world, motherhood and what it really means to be a woman today.

Fearless, provocative, and very funny, Ria Lina is the only Filipina comedian in British stand-up and a hugely admired talent in the comedy industry. Her extensive list of credits includes Live At The Apollo, Have I Got News For You, Mock the Week, Lovestruck High, Richard Hammond’s Brain Reaction, House of Games, The Last Leg and Celebrity Mastermind.

ISMO, "Watch Your Language" Tour, The Stand, Edinburgh. Tuesday 20th June, 2023

This quirky Finnish comedian may not be a household name but he did win the Laugh Factory's Funniest Person in the World competition in 2014. Despite that accolade being nearly a decade ago, he still sold out The Stand, Edinburgh, fast enough for them to add a second show later the same night. I decided it was worth the effort to head through as I was on holiday that week and he wasn't playing in Glasgow, entirely forgetting how expensive rail travel is, the cost of the rail tickets almost matching the cost of the gig tickets.

I'd never been to The Stand in Edinburgh before. After a slight case of getting lost, we found the right street and joined the queue. At the basement entrance, a tall, gregarious, bespectacled host (in a black shirt, crimson jacket and beltless baggy jeans, held up with white braces) checked off my name from his list and repeated the house rules: phones on silent, no talking during the show, the bar will close during the performance so buy enough drinks beforehand and enjoy the show. He then waved us through to the team member who would take us to our seats (or stools in this case, all the seats at the front of the stage, except for the front row, already taken). The stools were uncomfortable, sitting on them as we were for nearly an hour and three-quarters, but the view was excellent. Apologies to the woman in front for occasionally nudging your bum with my knee. It wasn't deliberate, more the consequence of an involuntary wriggle.

Ismo was good, getting some big laughs. His schtick is to poke fun at the nuances of the English language and other cultural differences that he never encountered in Finland, often playing the overseas fool for comedic effect. He ended on his shit closer, a beautifully crafted routine worthy of George Carlin. He even managed to work in another call back to it at the very, very end, after he told us about his merch on sale outside.

 

I was a bit put off by the noises he makes on stage - a cross between a nom-nom and a nervous giggle as if chewing over what to say next. His delivery could have been slicker too, pausing occasionally to look at his phone to review his setlist of gags and check how long he'd been on stage. I suspect the set doesn't change much between shows so perhaps he was still a bit jetlagged.  

One request for next time, Ismo: please come to Glasgow and save me a rail fare.     

Ticket price: £28 plus £0.80 booking fee (booked direct)

Rail fare: £24.30 (from Johnstone to Waverley return, split tickets) 

 This 

Danny Bhoy, Work in Progress, The Stand, Glasgow. Wednesday 1st February, 2023

Oh Bhoy, what a brilliant comedian this man is. Even for a work-in-progress show, this was superb. Yes, the flow was occasionally a little stilted between routines but he'd taken two years off because of the pandemic so that was to be expected. He's still polishing his set. The quality of the jokes is exquisite (a work of art in one case) and his performance adds so much to the comedy (acting out a conversation between a penguin and a giraffe or queuing at a Spanish supermarket, for example). He possesses such great stage charisma, it's hard not to instantly warm to him.  

A lovely touch about tonight's show was he was donating the ticket money to a Glasgow food bank. A punter at the front gave him a giant Toblerone but I think she intended it for him rather than as a donation. He joked about it being racist as she'd given him the white one, not the brown one.

If you get the chance to catch him live, do not hesitate. You will not be disappointed. 

Ticket price: £12 plus booking fee.

  

Omid Djalili, "The Good Times Tour", The Stand, Glasgow. Sunday 29th January, 2023

I mentioned to a neighbour that I was going to see Omid and he replied, "Oh, the accents man". This was something unknown to me as, in truth, I wasn't that familiar with Omid's work. My interest had been piqued when I saw he was playing The Stand (always a great venue) with Boothby Graffoe, a rather good, offbeat comedian/musician, in support.  

We arrived at 6.15 pm to join the queue for the 6.30 pm doors open. It was blustery wet outside so unsurprisingly the queue wasn't too long (still within the confines of the building grounds rather than up the street). Ahead of us, one bearded punter, whose haircut consisted of a mop on top, shaved sides and a rat's tail, was filling the air with unnecessary expletives. I said an internal prayer that he would not sit near us, which fell on deaf ears. Who knew God wasn't a mind reader? 

The gig was sold out so I was pleased to snag my regular seat, offering a clear view of the stage. No possibility of a tall punter blocking my view (see above).

Once the place filled up, there was standing room only but that didn't stop one female from getting her friend to bring her a barstool so she could sit at the end of my row. She wanted to be near her other friend who had taken the last available table seat. Her joy was short-lived as the soundperson returned and instructed her to move, reminding her she was blocking a route of escape. Her charms fell on deaf ears when she begged him to remain. 

Later, someone else took up position on the steps and was told to move. I love it when the staff enforce the rules with latecomers. It makes standing in the queue in the rain all the more worthwhile. 

I spotted a Middle Eastern punter sitting along the row from us. With his bald head and beard, I had to do a double-take to check it wasn't Omid (it wasn't - the chap was too young). The gentleman then moved to sit at the front, right beside the stage. I wondered if he was a plant for Omid's show (he wasn't - just a fan).   

Boothby was terrific. A seasoned veteran, he loves to wrongfoot his audience with gags out of nowhere (though he did tell the old one about the wife on holiday complaining about the manner in which she'd been told her cat was dead - punchline: 'So your mum was on the roof'). He spotted the Middle Eastern chap and engaged him in some audience banter. It turned out Vaheem was Iranian, worked in the army in logistics ("Which army?" asked BG faux nervously) but was living in East Kilbride. Omid later cleverly incorporated him into several gags, giving him a fist bump in thanks. 

The beardy bloke with the rat's tail ended up so drunk he failed to understand Omid wasn't talking directly to him and started replying in a loud but unintelligible manner. Thankfully, Omid didn't engage and the beardy bloke settled down allowing the night to continue smoothly.

Omid has a great charm even if his material is just okay. He is engaging and amusing and even used his platform to raise awareness of the current plight of Iranian women, finding some humour in a serious subject. He also told a gag about football chants that Mark Thomas had used albeit tagging it to a different team. His proper act did get some big laughs but overall I'd agree it was the Good Times Tour as opposed to the Not Bad Times Tour or the Seriously Great Times Tour. His accents are incredible, however.

Ticket price £22 plus booking fee.

Frankie Boyle: Work in Progress, The Stand, Glasgow. Sunday 11th December, 2022

After a late Saturday night at GUN at the Barrowlands, I enjoyed a lazy Sunday morning knowing I had this to look forward to in the afternoon.

Works in progress, by definition, can be hit or miss but they generally have a more relaxed vibe as the audience is aware the material is being tried out. Today, Frankie was testing the script for the End of Year edition of his BBC2 series, New World Order. Essentially, he read out the entire, printed-out script from a clipboard, including his opening monologue, links to all the clips they might use in the final edit and the end monologue. There was little chitchat with the audience, except to comment when he felt something wouldn't make the cut or to react to our reaction about the joke he just told. As anticipated, the material was dark, brutal and shoulder-shakingly funny. In this unedited version, the band U2 came in for some serious carnage involving the consequence of their helicopter flying over an active volcano. It will be interesting to see how much makes the final broadcast.

There was also a surprise support act, Ray Bradshaw, who performed a lot of funny but familiar material about having deaf parents. His chatty, relaxed style was conducive to big laughs and he set us up nicely for Frankie to do his stuff.

Ticket price: £15.

 

Mark Thomas, "Black and White", The Stand, Glasgow. Thursday 1st December, 2022

A new tour from Mark Thomas but not necessarily all-new material. Revised would be a more appropriate term. Even though I'd seen him perform the same bits twice on the last tour, his passionate performance carried him through. his hotchpotch of gags, stories and political vehemence for the Tories still generating the requisite belly laughs and shoulder wobblers.

Tonight's message was to look after your communities because no one in power is going to do so. Before the interval, he encouraged us to consider what our song for Glasgow would be, our city anthem as it were, expecting us to come up with something for the second half. Someone immediately shouted, "Billy Connolly", confusing Mark as the Big Yin isn't a song. This was then followed up by "If it wisnae for yer wellies" sparking the crowd to launch spontaneously into a rendition of the song up to the chorus. A live moment that touched Mark's heart (and mine). 

A loud librarian also played a key role in proceedings tonight when she threw in the word bomb "Bastards" in response to something Mark said. Mark asked her to repeat it not having made out what she said. Three goes later another helpful punter translated the word for him: "illegitimate persons". Mark later dubbed her the Loudbrarian and invited her to chuck in her catchphrase at appropriate moments. 

My wife spotted the comedian Parrot in the audience sitting in front of us. He didn't offer to act as MC tonight, which was probably best for all of us. 

Although I may have heard Mark's Wimbledon AFC chants, his Barry Cryer stories, his gag about sharps bins (that wouldn't apply in GG&C) and all his tales about his mum, it was still a fantastic night of comedy. Exactly what I needed after not having my best day at work.

On the way home, a crash on the motorway brought traffic to a crawl. Three lanes out of four were strewn with debris. One car sat perpendicular to the traffic, its nose nudging the central crash barrier, another had been crushed in the rear and had people working on it to open the side doors. Other vehicles sat parked on all the affected lanes, their hazard lights flashing. No sign of police or ambulance yet on the scene. With only one lane open and everyone angling to go along it, one smartarse in a white Audi SUV overtook everyone, dashing up the hard shoulder. I reckoned this qualified him as the word Mark called the Tories. It began with C and wasn't Conservative. 

Nuff said.

Maisie Adam, "Buzzed", The Stand, Glasgow. Wednesday, 5th October, 2022

It's a shame that Mock the Week is coming to an end after seventeen seasons. It made household names of Frankie Boyle and Russell Howard and raised the profile of a number of up-and-coming comedians. Maisie Adam is one such comedian and I got to see her perform at The Stand tonight.

'Buzzed' is Maisie's first tour and in it, she talks about all the good things she's buzzed about: getting to perform to a live audience again after the pandemic; the reason behind her unusual haircut; the awkwardness of her boyfriend's proposal; her feminist views on marriage and her wedding plans; and getting to join a women's football team in Brighton. Most of all though, she's buzzed about her appearance on Soccer AM.

Maisie's performance appears effortless like she's chatting to us but there is so much craft in the writing. The way she incorporates so many callbacks to earlier material, and even the crowd work she did in the first half, is incredible. She's a proper professional and proud of it. (Don't go calling her a comedienne).

It's always a privilege to see a young, breaking comedian at this point in their career in such an intimate venue. Next year, she's already booked to play Oran Mor so it's unlikely she'll return to such a small venue anytime soon. Well worth skipping hospital visiting time after my mum was admitted today. It's just as well I have a loving wife who volunteered to take over those duties while I went off to have a laugh. I know, I am such a bad son. I'm going to hell.

Thank you Bob for arranging the tickets. I'll repay you tomorrow night by doubling down on the bad son front.  

Josie Long: What Now? (Free show recording for Radio 4). The Stand, Glasgow (8pm performance). Sunday 22nd May, 2022

Josie Long has long been on my list of comedians to catch live. Somehow I've never managed to see her. When an advert for this recording taking place in Glasgow popped up on my Facebook feed, I immediately stopped the dog walk to register my interest in attending and, to my pleasant surprise, managed to acquire two tickets.

We found a space on Eldon Street nearby to the venue at 7.15 pm not realising initially that the parking charges apply there between 8am and 10pm Monday through Sunday. I still didn't buy a ticket. It was only a few hours on a Sunday night. What was the worst that could happen? A £60 fine? The show was free so I took the gamble.

We went for a drink in a nearby pub as the doors weren't due to open till 8 pm. While sipping mine, I took a huge bout of queue fever and had to go check how long the line was outside the venue. It was already at the gate so I joined it and gave my wife a running text commentary about what was happening. She remained in the pub, she being the sensible one who'd rather enjoy her wine at an appropriate pace. Dylan Moran (the comedian/actor) arrived and went into the venue then popped back out again as if he'd turned up to the wrong gig. Then the previous show's audience came out (by the hugs and kisses between some of them, not recently) and I got the sweats as the line tightened up. Where was my wife?

It was fine. Despite not seeing my lie that the queue was now moving, she arrived with plenty of time before we got to go in. First, there were wristbands to be handed out, tickets to be scanned and Priority Ticket Holders to be identified and moved to another line. Of course, by the time the VIPs got in, it was raining.

To my joy, my favourite seat on the bench in front of the raised balcony was still free and we had the perfect spot to watch the show - and the audience. 

All the best freaks were here: from the beret-wearing skinny blonde with shoulder-length locks with bubble-gum-pink highlights to the check-shirted blokes with twirly, designer beards and statement spectacles, to the persons of indiscriminate gender with deliberately semi-shaved heads and tattoos that convey their life story from the trauma of birth to their most recent breakup. Josie is such a warm and inclusive character, her audience ticks all the letters: L, G, B, T and Q. Her stand up has the honest passion of Mark Thomas and the huge heart of Mother Teresa and, now she's moved to Glasgow, she proudly swears like a local, which causes her a few problems with retakes as the show was being recorded for early evening Radio 4. 

I have no idea how they'll be able to edit these two performances down to half an hour. This was the second of two shows being recorded tonight, the material overlapping but not identical each time. Our show came to about an hour (including the preamble) and when the light came on to alert her to the thirty-minute mark, she still had another quarter of an hour of material left to deliver. The editing is going to have to be very tight.

One of the best bits of the live experience was hearing the show in its raw, uncensored form. The audience got a massive buzz from hearing her swear knowing she was going to have to repeat the line with a clean version immediately afterwards.  

Afterwards, Josie was so thankful that we had all given up our Sunday night to see her. She was funny and heartfelt and silly and outrageous. It was a great night and another plus - I didn't get a parking ticket. 

Mark Thomas "50 Things About Us", The Stand, Glasgow. Wednesday 16th February, 2022.

I don't normally book tickets to see a comedian twice on the same tour but because of the Ticketmaster debacle, I didn't think I was going to get to see him in Stirling. I went alone, this time because my pal tested positive for coronavirus. The Stand has a Covid policy to refund tickets in this situation so I'll get my money back on the unused ticket. 

Tonight's show was even better than the one at The Macrobert Arts Centre, despite essentially being the same material. The Stand is a proper comedy club with a better atmosphere. You feel closer to the comedian, seeing every bead of sweat as he performs his set. This also means he can see you, which was unfortunate for the numpty at the front who decided to take out his phone to send a text at the start of the second half. Mark politely ripped him apart for being rude to him and everyone around him. There were some quality heckles from the crowd ("Get out, get out, get out", a reference to one of Mark's jokes, and "Millions", a callback to a previous heckler whom Mark had handled with practised aplomb).  

The material seemed tighter tonight, even though he was perplexed that there were no diabetics in the crowd, in Glasgow, the chip capital of the world. I was primed ready with answers to obscure questions he asked last time but he'd trimmed that particular section so I didn't win a badge. He still gave us his Barry Cryer anecdotes but this time placed them near the end of the set and closed not on a gag about his shirt (different to the one above) but on one about his mum.  

I bought his book during the interval and got him to sign it after the show. I was too nervous to start a conversation except to say I also saw him in Stirling. At least now I can say I met one of my comedy heroes.  

Ticket Price: £15 each (no additional fees). 

Alex Edelman - "Just For Us" - The Stand, Glasgow. Sunday 15th March 2020.

I've been so lucky this week as all the gigs I'd planned to go to went ahead. Next week, Trevor Noah's show has already been postponed and it looks like the government response to the coronavirus will shut down everything else. 

Tonight, Alex announced this would be the last date of his UK tour, having pulled his remaining shows due to the escalating health crisis. He thanked us for coming out during a pandemic to see a Jew. The room wasn't full (the curtain had been pulled across the balcony to reduce its size and there were a few empty seats) but it still felt like a substantial audience. The age range was broad.

At the start, I worried when he went into his bit about Koko, the gorilla who learned to communicate using sign language. I'd heard him perform this before on TV and on the radio and remembered all the punchlines. Fortunately, this was just the starting off point to describe the type of material he used to do, ie dumb jokes. This show was intentionally going deeper but he assured us it was still going to be funny. 

And it was. 

His story introduces us first to anti-semitic trolls then moves onto its core element, a Nazi meeting in Brooklyn which he attended out of curiosity, with those present not knowing he was a Jew. He makes it feel real with minute details so we can understand the setting and characters present. At times, he diverts from the main story to fill us in on aspects of his upbringing and family and his religion to help us understand what life for him is like as a Jew.    

The show is crafted beautifully, keeping us rapt. There was not a single heckle. The only interruption to his flow came when a woman in the front rested her feet on the stage and he kicked them off gently, telling her off-mic not to do that. 

He reminds us near the end that his show is entertainment, that he, as a comedian, has smoothed off the edges to make it funny and more palatable. He gives examples of the type of prejudice Jews face publicly every day but is clever enough to bring his focus back to the personal. When the attendees of the meeting out him as a Jew, it makes their response more hateful because we now know these characters as people. Obviously, he gets the last laugh.

Afterwards, as we left, I noticed Fred MacAuley standing at the back with a pint in his hand and a cap on his head. I nodded a greeting. Then Alex bounced over to the bar and got a big man hug from a fan, who asked him if he was playing Edinburgh this year. I never heard the response as we left but the close personal contact shocked me. I've heard of comedians wanting to go viral but this was ridiculous.

Now wash your hands.
   

John Kearns, 'Don't Worry They're Here', The Stand, Glasgow. Mon 29th Jan 2018

The Guardian describes his comedy as "richly idiosyncratic" (on the poster). I'd never seen him before but was interested based on his comic pedigree: two Edinburgh awards (best newcomer and best show).

The initial outlook didn't look good. No queue to get in at 7.35pm. No Mr Big Issue bantering and badgering us to buy his "shite" magazine. Once inside, two sections of the room were curtained off, with chairs and tables stacked to the side to make it smaller, more square. There was no one buying drinks at the bar and only two people sitting at the tables. Obviously not a sellout.

However, the show isn't due to start till 8.30 and slowly the reduced space begins to fill. They eventually set up an extra six chairs on the balcony and a few bar stools at the back wall to accommodate pay-at-the-door guests. It feels cosy.

Support act, Donald Alexander, is from Glasgow. His comedy character is odd. His opener is to do an impression of a man outside a used car dealership. It's very visual, making good use of his lankiness. His material is offbeat. Some of it doesn't work but he's young so plenty of time to grow. He does a good 20 mins.

John Kearns' character, with his monk wig and false teeth, immediately sets a weird, awkward tone. He reveals his world to us so clearly, with specific details, observations and expressions, that laughs are drawn from thin air. It's funny because it feels familiar, even though most of it is probably fictional. It's a rounded character who will never get on top, given the cards life has dealt him, but that doesn't stop him being the man he is, making the most of it. It's bizarre but wonderful.

It's a shame that there were less than a hundred people present.

Sarah Pascoe, 'Animal', The Stand, Glasgow. Mon 20th June 2016

Sara Pascoe was superb tonight at The Stand, Glasgow, performing her 'Animal' tour. An hour and a half of solid comedy material, interweaving stories, funny thoughts, callbacks and bizarre ideas, like, she's decided she could be the Prime Minister but a pacifist one, who sells Trident on eBay and uses the cash to fund the NHS and pay nurses serious wages, like Sultan of Brunei money. But she'll only be the Prime Minister of those who want her cos she'll let the ones who don't want her to leave. (I do not do her material justice).

She talks almost non-stop and there are so many little funny gems along the way that you are enthralled by her. She describes wanting to be more confident, even adopting a baseball cap before the interval so 'Confident Sara' can plug her book, 'available for sale in the corridor', but I can see she has grown so much since her first tour.

She can be both erudite and silly in the same sentence. She's not afraid to explain a concept laughter-free knowing there's a punchline, a callback and a point to follow. Her material may be feminist friendly but she still appeals to both genders, with a routine on a local Sex Dungeon, her poor ability at giving handjobs and empathetic porn pop-ups and banners to teach men about the truth of relationships.

(I just mistyped relationshops* - what a brilliant concept - a shop where you can buy advice on being a better partner. But I digress.)

I could see the material she's written for this tour translating beautifully into a BBC2 sitcom, to rival Miranda, but with less pratfalls and more promoting the joy of female pubic hair.

Intelligent, whimsical, coy and magnificent: Sara is her own beast and well worth catching.