Saturday, 7 June 2025

Elf Lyons "Horses" The Stand, Glasgow. Saturday 7th June, 2025.


I first saw this show at last year's Edinburgh Fringe. It blew me away - the best show I'd seen at the festival. When the tour was announced, I couldn't make the Scottish dates because I was already booked elsewhere: Jarlath on Friday and Billy Joel on Saturday. Then, Billy Joel rescheduled (and later cancelled) his date, which freed me up to attend.

As it was an afternoon performance, with doors opening at 3 pm and the show starting at 4 pm, running until 5:40 pm, I decided to drive to Ibrox and catch the subway to Kelvinbridge. I didn't have to collect anyone as my mate was busy and was going to make his own way there. The tube got busy when a hen group dressed as cowgirls (and boys) flooded in, on a pub crawl, stopping off at every station. They had tiny bottles of pink liquid, which they downed like shots. Their loud presence amused my fellow travellers, but I felt relieved when they got off. 

Isn't this a thing of black beauty?

I arrived at the venue so early that they hadn't even put out the chalk advertising board. There was no queue, just one other bloke leaning against a wall. The door at the foot of the stairs was open, so I went down to peek in, catching a glimpse of Elf walking away in costume, but it was apparent the audience hadn't gone in early. The table for checking off the ticket holders had been moved to the other end of the corridor.

I headed back upstairs.

A young couple arrived and saw the pair of us standing, and still decided to head down. They disappeared inside, so I figured they were staff. Only they weren't. They came back out laughing, checking their watches, and then disappeared off to the pub. (They returned closer to showtime, by which time only a few tables remained. They ended up sitting beside the wall at the side of the stage.) 

I ended up third in the queue when two ladies arrived and decided to stand at the top of the stairs. The other bloke, who had arrived much earlier than I had, didn't seem interested in joining us, remaining at the wall.  

At 3 pm, the door was opened, the doorstop put in place, and we were allowed in.

The room layout had been altered from its usual configuration. There were far fewer tables, with spacing between to create a corridor around the stage. I clicked on the reason, remembering the show's finale. However, it also suggested the show hadn't sold out. The staff had done a great job of making it look full.

I still have no idea what the letters perched on the floor were for

I spotted a staff member taking down Elf's posters, removing the dollops of blue tack from the corners, so I approached him, asking if I could have one. He said no problem, even going to the length of finding me an elastic band to secure it. We then chatted about when they were due to move to the new venue. He told me it would probably be in September: the room needs some work, including adjusting the stage height and building a false ceiling to keep the laughs in. I don't usually have the confidence to talk to strangers, but I felt comfortable as it was The Stand, my favourite comedy venue.  

When Bob arrived, I'd already got the drinks in. We chatted about whether to attend a gig later that night at the Classic Grand - his mate couldn't go and had offered him free tickets - and decided we would. I'd never heard of Electric Boys, nor The Spangles, but it was free, so why not?

I'd seen Susan Riddell earlier outside and wondered if she'd been asked to open for Elf. In my head, this didn't make sense. The nature of the performance required Elf to open the show. It turned out I was right. Susan was there as a punter, sitting a few seats away from me at a Reserved table - the perks of being a comedian.
   
The show itself was superb, even on second viewing. I laughed out loud so much it put Jarlath's show to shame. So many moments to remember: the audience's enthusiatic involvement in the scene with the Trojan Horse; audience member Marion panicking, waving her hands in the air, as her invisible gun kept shooting Elf; Elf's performance as Medusa, Pegasus, and the Minotaur; the scene with the sweet girl riding Chubby ending up down the well. Elf's physicality is impressive, but her script is so good, packed with funny lines.
 
Afterwards, she treated us to a second half, a spot of stand-up as a preview of sorts for her next work in progress. She admitted she hadn't yet worked out how to link the bits, but we went with it. It's going to be a corker. Maybe it'll get her on Taskmaster and keep her agent happy. 

At the rock show afterwards, my brain kept distracting me with ideas for Elf's new show. I ended up jotting them down on my phone. When another punter approached me and asked if I was a reviewer, I stopped and put my phone away. I missed a lot of the gig. 

When I got home, I emailed Elf my ideas. I'm not expecting a reply, unless it's an injunction order, preventing me from contacting her further. For a short time, though, while still elated by her show, I could dream of collaborating with her. Wouldn't that be nice!

The weeds have formed a wreath outside The Stand.
It's the end of an era.
In just a few months, the lease will expire, and they will be forced to move.
(The comedy club, not the weeds - I imagine they'll flourish).

Ticket Price: 2 x £15 plus £1.60 booking fee = £31.60 from The Stand


Poster now framed.


No comments:

Post a Comment