Nina Conti & Friends, Paisley Town Hall. Saturday 22nd November, 2025

I think my expectations for this event were too high. The Town Hall in Paisley is a grand venue with a high ceiling and plush seating, so you expect events to be of a higher standard. While I enjoyed each act in its own way, I didn't feel any of them elevated the proceedings to match their surroundings.

Compère John Gavin worked the room like a pub crowd, cussing and effing from the off. Liam Farrelly opened his act by describing the various uses of the word 'cunt' in social settings. It all felt a bit seedy. Fortunately, Liam won me back with a well-crafted set, even if I'd heard it before when he opened for Russell Kane. Daniel Petrie let slip he'd only been 'friends' with Nina Conti for a short time, given he got the call to play only a few days earlier when the original booked act called off (he didn't reveal who it was). Daniel's act started off low-energy and didn't change, though his material improved after he revealed his main job was as a doctor, hitting us with deadpan jokes about how superior he was, backed up with examples. He closed the first half of the night.

After the break, John Gavin returned and did his short set before introducing Nina. Her act was half chatting with Monkey and half using her masks on audience members. The Monkey stuff went down better, though I'd heard some of the banter before. I was more fascinated than amused by the mask stuff, studying what was happening rather than laughing at it. She closed with her bit about Monkey inhabiting her mind, which she correctly stated was freaky as hell.

It's great that OneRen are bringing the comedians out to the provinces, but you'll find better value and more laughs at a Saturday show at the Glee Club or The Stand. This show felt a bit half-arsed.

Ticket Price: 2 x £27.50 plus £2.50 booking fee = £57.50 from OneRen

Nina Conti, "The Dating Show", Theatre Royal, Glasgow. Sunday 30th January, 2022

 

The blurb: "British Comedy Award winner Nina is pioneering a new dating show. She’ll be like Cilla Black with masks. Derailed. Not so much a Blind Date as a re-voiced one. There is no promise that true love will be found but a firm guarantee that big laughs will be had in the reign of this quick-thinking queen of ventriloquism."

It is a brave person who's willing to improvise an entire show. Braver still to do so as a ventriloquist. Add in audience participation, multiple accents, mask operation and improvised songs and you've got to be pretty special to pull it off. Nina does so with aplomb (and a hand up a Monkey's arse).

She and Monkey, her painfully funny glove puppet dummy, introduce us to the concept of the show then bring up two volunteers from the front row to demonstrate what is going to happen. She puts mouth/chin masks on them and the fun begins.

Mark and Julie (real names) met on Plenty of Fish (true) and had their first date in Frankie & Bennies (also true) then made a sex tape (unconfirmed but likely improvised - the comedy, not the sex tape). Nina makes up all the dialogue for both partners reading their body language and hand expressions.

Then Marcella, a single PhD student in Civil Engineering, is looking for love. She sang a song about her true love running over the hills from Kirkcaldy. For this part, Nina brought on a guitarist to play the tune. All in, thirty minutes of hilarity before the interval.

The speed dating section opened the second half, with willing audience participants asked to line up. Once a queue of around a dozen people had formed, Nina came on stage dressed as a full-size Monkey. The first man up got a massive surprise when he wasn't given a mask and realised he had to make small talk himself with the Monkey.

After a series of speed dates, Nina was pulled from her costume by the final pair and the remaining queue sent away. These two then agreed to put on the masks and Nina engineered another scenario, with the mother seeking a suitor for her daughter. The first lad was no good so Nina brought back the male dancer who hadn't had the chance to speak to her on a speed date. The interaction between the three especially the sitting down mum was hysterical.

Then the cleaning company man was brought up on stage so she find him a date, getting him to show off his broom skills. He knew his way around a broom handle we discovered.

In the finale, she brought back Monkey and showed off her ventriloquism skills by switching voices with Monkey then having both of them talk at the same time. Quite a talent.

And then it was over. 

A quick night, starting at 7.30 and finishing at 9.15, but packed with improvising gold.   

Ticket Price: £28.90 each, plus £2.85 transaction fee and £2.90 VAT