Connor Burns, "1994", King's Theatre, Glasgow. Saturday 15th March, 2025.

They say it's good luck if a bird shits on you (the feathered variety, not the fetishist, although maybe that is too). I was extremely lucky because, as my mate and I exited the car on Blytheswood Square, a seagull dropped a massive shit on his jacket. By the time we arrived at the pub for some dinner and a drink, having attempted to clean up the mess with a tissue, the paint-like smear had solidified and wasn't for cleaning. It was just as well we were heading out to see a comedian afterwards. He needed a laugh.

Scottish comedian Connor Burns had never been on my radar. I was unaware of his social media work, or how he had been on the comedy scene for eight years, so I bought these based solely on the buzz around him. He'd sold out his entire Edinburgh run last year, well in advance of the festival, and sold out five shows at the GICF in 2023. That rarely happens unless the act has had major TV exposure, which Connor hasn't (I looked this up after the gig, not wanting my opinion of him to be swayed one way or another).

This was the second of his two sold-out shows at the King's Theatre this festival. I'd misread the ticket and thought the show started at 9 pm, so we arrived at 8.45 pm and joined the long but fast-moving queue. Tickets checked, we made our way inside to our seats in the stalls, five rows from the front. Lots of empty seats prompted me to recheck the start time. Turned out 9 pm was doors open, though they'd let people in early. The website confirmed the show started at 9.30 pm.

As we waited, I noticed the background music, with tracks like Basket Case by Green Day and Say It Ain't So by Weezer, were all quite old and quickly twigged they were all from 1994. There was one exception, though: Sheryl Crow's All I Wanna Do, which was released in 1993. I'm sure there was a reason why this one slipped through but I never did find out what it was.

Connor Burns had a lovely surprise for us. Although he doesn't normally have a support act, he did tonight. Before he introduced him, he explained he would be coming back on straight after the support so not to fuck off for a drink. He then welcomes on none other than DANIEL SLOSS! 

I paid to see this young comedy veteran at the Armadillo a few years back and he was awesome. Daniel had been taking a year off from stand-up following the birth of his second child, so his unexpected performance tonight was at his wife's request, who, after having had him at home for eight months, was delighted to see the back of him. His assured set related to his current homelife situation and was extremely funny. Afterwards, I read that Connor had supported Daniel on previous tours, so it was nice to see them switch roles.

Much of Connor's set revolved around the tunes that were hits at important stages in his and his father's lives, from Rock The Joint by Bill Haley & His Comets and Voodoo Child by Jimmy Hendrix to Love Is All Around by Wet Wet Wet and The Mr Blobby song. He got some mileage from the significance of these songs. Time was another theme he used, discussing how there was a ten-year gap between him and his nearest sibling and how he'd been born nine months after his father's birthday. Cringe! 

Connor's routines flowed naturally and were cleverly crafted with only a hint of nervousness in their delivery. The idea of replacing the Scottish national anthem with Glasgow's unofficial anthem, dance track Bits and Pieces, touched a comic nerve within the crowd who were totally up for it. It was a very funny show. Top marks!

He is definitely an act worth catching. He will be performing his new show GALLUS at this year's Edinburgh festival, from  JUL 31, 2025 - AUG 24, 2025 at Just The Tonic Nucleus - Venue 393. Get in there quick. Tickets are already on sale.     

Ticket Price x 2 = £46.40
(including Booking fee £3.70 per ticket, which incorporates the Venue Fee of £1.75 per ticket)
1 x Order Processing Fee £1.25
Total £47.65 from SEE Tickets

Fish - The Farewell Tour - Road to the Isles 2025, O2 Academy, Glasgow. Sunday 9th March 2025

My relationship with Fish goes all the way back to his time in Marillion. The Script for a Jester's Tear album was my go-to whenever I needed to wallow in misery as a teenager. When he split and went solo, I went with him. His first gig at the Barrowland supporting Vigil in a Wilderness of Mirrors was special to me. He opened the show in the middle of the crowd, standing on a low stool right behind me. I didn't know this at first, too busy scanning the stage to see where he was. Then I got the tap from one of my mates to look behind, and the big fella was right there. Such a great gig. After that, I slowly drifted away from his work, bailing after Suits not returning until 13th Star.

It was only when he started streaming his Fish on Fridays that I tuned back in again properly. Now that I was paying for a music streaming service, it was easy to keep up to date with his new material (I still bought the CDs/Blu-rays but never played them). 

I'd caught Fish live a couple of times recently and been disappointed. By the time he arrived in Glasgow, his voice was always wrecked from the rest of the tour. The show production felt like it was put together on a shoestring of compromises. When he announced that Glasgow would be his last ever show, I hesitated about going. Then, I decided I owed it to myself and to Fish to be there to provide the sendoff he deserved.

Then he added a second night, and so the ticket I had became for his penultimate show. I decided not to buy a ticket for the new final night. What if he was shite and I had to stand through it twice?

Fish being Fish, so canny with cash, he elected on this farewell tour to sell his merch at local hostelries to reduce the money he'd lose from the venue commission. This attracted lots of fans into Glasgow early. As such, when I arrived half an hour before the doors opened, the queue was horrendous, already running almost a whole block along the road. Compounded by the fact that there was an O2 priority queue too, I gave up on the idea of getting a good view inside.

Luckily, though, the space behind the accessibility seats was empty when I got in so I ended up with an excellent view. I figured I would be able to shoot some great videos for my YouTube channel. Then I saw this message:

So, I didn't record any of it, well except for this wee bit.

The stalls became rammed as more fans arrived inside. This might be how it always is for a sell-out. I'm usually further forward.  Looking across, I imagined playing Whack-A-Mole with all the tall people's heads, thumping them back down to a flat level. I pitied the fools stuck behind those giants. I noticed tensions rising as people pushed through the crowd, stopping directly in front of others.

There was a slight problem in the accessibility area because two guys, one obviously disabled, were sitting on seats they hadn't reserved and got told to move. Fortunately, the couple beside them, sitting in front of me, didn't need both seats, so they offered the guy with the walking stick their spare. It turned out no one claimed the empty seats anyway, so the tall chap who'd given up his seat and received flack for being so tall, and having the audacity to keep his bunnet on, got to sit after all. They were a nice couple from Worcestershire. 

While Fish was on stage, some members of the crowd angrily expressed their unhappiness with the people chatting at the back. No fights broke out, though. A few people fainted—or at least I hope they fainted, given they needed medical attention. The person behind me kept nudging my back, not out of ill feeling but simply because space was so tight.  

The show itself was better than I anticipated. Fish's voice was in good shape (he was on the water), and he was supported by an excellent backing singer. He still used a prompt for the lyrics, but you can understand why given his lengthy, poetic but wordy songs. This time, at least, he used a monitor rather than sheets of paper in a folder so it appeared he was singing to us, not a music stand. The crowd atmosphere was amazing. People had travelled from all over the world to be there. Between encores, unprompted, they continued to sing the chorus from the previous song until Fish returned.

If I had any complaints, it would be about the song choices. Fish made it clear that this was his party, and he'd sing what he wanted, not what we wanted. And he did. I understood his reasoning. He's proud of certain lesser known songs and wanted to dust them off one last time. But really that's not what the crowd wanted. We expected the classics for a good old singalong. In the end, it felt like the gig was part one of a two-part finale and all the best bits were kept for part two. We still got a great finale with Market Square Heroes and The Company. He played right up to the curfew at 11 pm (from an 8.20 pm start). 

You could say the night mirrored my relationship with Fish. I loved the early stuff, but the middle section was mostly unknown to me. The gig ended strong, though—a fitting goodbye. Cheers to Derek William Dick as he's shortly about to be known as again. Enjoy your pension.

Setlist

Intro -The Thieving Magpie (La Gazza Ladra) (Gioachino Rossini song)
Vigil
Pipeline
Weltschmerz
Shadowplay
Family Business
Goldfish & Clowns
The High Wood, I: High Wood
The High Wood, II: Crucifix Corner
The High Wood, III: The Gathering
The High Wood, IV: Thistle Alley
The High Wood, V: The Leaving
Slàinte Mhath (Marillion song)
Waverley Steps (End of the Line)
Raw Meat

Encore:
Fugazi (Marillion song)

Encore 2:
Lucky
Market Square Heroes (Marillion song)
The Company
Outro song played from tape (Kenneth Macleod song) (The Road To The Isles)

image from FB - I wasn't that lucky.

Ticket Price

Face Value £45.

1 x General Admission £52.22  

(Booking fee £7.22 includes Restoration Levy of £1.60 charged by the venue) 

Transaction Fee £1.50 

Total £53.72 From Aloud.com

Jack White, The No Name Tour, Barrowland, Glasgow. Monday 3rd March 2025

This one was a bit of a change for me. I bought the ticket in the off chance one of my colleagues missed out, but then discovered he already had one. Rather than sell it, I thought I'd go along and see what all the fuss is about.

And boy was I not disappointed!

Nineteen hundred punters turned up at the Barrowland to worship at the altar of Jack White, and it was incredible. I've never heard the crowd roar so loud. I've also, as an aging rocker, never seen such an energetic, youthful crowd with so much hair. We were standing near the disco ball (about half way back) and a spontaneous moshpit opened up beside us. Fortunately, it quickly migrated forward to join the others bouncing about at the front.  

On stage, Jack never slowed down. He constantly glided about, tearing out chords on various guitars. His eagle-eyed band watched his every step, ready to follow his lead. His riffs were pulsating, like a heartbeat controlling the room. His influences are wide, so one minute, he might trade on the heavy sounds of Rage Against the Machine or Black Sabbath, the next, the blues-infused tones of Gary Moore, and the rest of the time, whipping up the crowd with punk rock energy, his strangled vocals backed by nearly two thousand voices.  

My view of the stage was not so good. Whenever I thought my sightline was improving, someone else would move across to obscure my view, so my photos are out of focus and rubbish. The only video I took (of Seven Nation Army) became one of the people in front instead of the artist on stage. In a way though, it's an accurate reflection of my night. 

I should mention the support act, which was quirky in a REM/Elvis Costello/B52s/They Might Be Giants kind of way. They played indie pop with an American vibe, although lead singer Stevie was definitely Scottish. I wasn't sure quite what to make of them.   

I write this the following morning, tired, with ears ringing. It was worth it though. 

Setlist 

Intro Jam
Old Scratch Blues
That's How I'm Feeling
Black Math (The White Stripes song)
Summertime Blues (Eddie Cochran cover) (Snippet)
It's Rough on Rats (If You're Asking)
Hotel Yorba (The White Stripes song)
Carolina Drama (The Raconteurs song)
Freedom at 21
Hypnotize (The White Stripes song)
Broken Boy Soldier (The Raconteurs song)
Why Walk a Dog?
Cannon (The White Stripes song)
Lazaretto

Encore:
Encore Jam
Icky Thump (The White Stripes song)
I Think I Smell a Rat (The White Stripes song)
Archbishop Harold Holmes
Steady, as She Goes (The Raconteurs song)
Seven Nation Army (The White Stripes song)

Ticket Price 

1 x General Admission - Promoter Presale £61.87 (Inc booking fee £6.87)
1 x Order Processing Fee £1.25
Total £63.12 from SEE tickets.

Stevie Jackson and the Reverberations

Uriah Heep, "The Magician's Farewell", The King's Theatre, Glasgow. Sunday 23rd February, 2025

The King's Theatre is not the first venue that comes to mind when you think of hosting a triple-bill rock show in Glasgow. Yet, it was perfect. Sedate, civilised, and seated (for the oldies, which was the majority), the theatre provided excellent sightlines, a crystal-clear sound that was loud but not too loud, and a suitably large stage for the bands to make their presence felt. 

I get the sense that these bands never quite hit the heights they aspired to, lacking the breakout hits to propel them to universal stardom. But they kept going, creating wonderful music that not everyone heard.

Tonight, all the bands sounded great. I was not familiar with the two supports, but I enjoyed their performances. Technically skilled, great vocals and mostly unfamiliar songs to tap your foot to, if not quite sing-a-long to.

Uriah Heep has been around for fifty-five years and has released twenty-six albums. The lead singer claims attempts to pigeonhole them were futile—they play music. Everyone else can call it what they want. They played tracks from nine of those albums stretching the length of their back catalogue. It all sounded good. Yes, there was a guitar solo and a drum solo but nothing as bad as I remember from back in the day. 

Because of his playing stance and sunglasses, the guitarist reminded me of Noel Gallagher, albeit his grandad. The singer might be getting on a bit, too, but showed no sign of this on stage, with excellent clarity and vocal range. He even knew all the lyrics without needing stage prompts. His pleasure in performing was infectious.

A lovely night. 

  

What was weird was having three separate merch stalls, one for each band. Their locations—Tyketto at the entrance, Uriah Heep on the mezzanine, and April Wine upstairs at the entrance to the Grand Circle—meant that only those on the Grand Circle got to see them all, a missed opportunity for sales. 

Ticket Price £58.75

Tyketto Setlist

Reach

Wings

Seasons

Burning Down Inside

Strength in Numbers

Lay Your Body Down

Standing Alone

Forever Young

April Wine Setlist

I Like to Rock

All Over Town

Say Hello

Before the Dawn

Crash and Burn

Big City Girls

Just Between You and Me

Oowatanite

Sign of the Gypsy Queen (Lorence Hud cover)

Roller

Uriah Heep Setlist

Grazed by Heaven

Save Me Tonight

Overload

Shadows of Grief

Stealin'

Hurricane

The Wizard

Sweet Lorraine

Hail the Sunrise

Free 'n' Easy

The Magician's Birthday

Gypsy

July Morning

Encore:

Sunrise

Easy Livin'

Maiden Scotland, The Bungalow, Paisley. Saturday 22nd February 2025

I didn't get tickets to Iron Maiden's gig at the Hydro later this year, so I figured I'd try these wannabes instead. The tickets were cheap, and the gig was on my doorstep, so no big loss if they were shite.  

We'd booked for four people to sit, but the space reserved for us could only accommodate three. I wasn't feeling 100%, so I made sure I was one of the lucky ones. Beside us, a party of three under the name McFarlane was also tight for space. Even more so when the second party of three with the same name turned up looking for their seats. The Bungalow hadn't left space for both. It all got sorted amicably.

I bumped into one of my former customers but couldn't remember his name. His heavy-metal-patched denim jacket was a nostalgic beauty. When his pal heard I was retired, he decided to regale me with his own plan for early retirement involving cryptocurrency. Given that his portfolio had only a couple of grand, I reckon he'll be working for a long time yet.   

The support act, Kieran Hepburn, was an odd choice for a heavy metal gig as he only plays Scottish music (his upcoming album is one of Rabbie Burns's songs). However, he enjoyed himself, ignored the crowd's jibes, and played his full set. If he'd pulled out an accordion, I'd have left. I really didn't enjoy his set one bit.

Maiden Scotland have been going for twenty-two years. The last time they played in Paisley, the venue stiffed them, failing to pay their fee (much like many acts who got conned into playing Rocknrollas reportedly). 

They were amazing. The singer's voice has such a great range, perhaps not quite matching Bruce Dickinson in his heyday but far better than he sings nowadays. The sound was not-perfect, of album quality. The Grim Reaper paid a visit for Number of the Beast, and a Funko-style Trooper Eddie cut his way through the audience onto the stage for the eponymous track. The band played a few of the early Dianno numbers, which were less familiar to me, but welcome nonetheless. 

It was a fun night.  

Ticket Price £15.

Setlist (all Iron Maiden covers)

The Ides of March

Prowler

2 Minutes to Midnight

Wrathchild

Killers

The Prisoner

Wasted Years

Remember Tomorrow

The Number of the Beast

The Wicker Man

Transylvania

Strange World

The Trooper

Fear of the Dark

Hallowed Be Thy Name

Iron Maiden

Encore:

Phantom of the Opera

Run to the Hills

Stories Untold

 'I'm writing a novel.'

'Yes, neither am I.'  

That Peter Cook sketch quote sums up my writing nicely.

Unlike the distinguished authors of this blog site, I've never written a book. Well, I've never written a book that's been published. Mostly, this is because I rarely complete them – the cardinal sin for any writer. My dedication to the hard graft wanes with my mediocrity (evident with sentences like that one).

Yet, despite this, I feel compelled to keep going.

I can't help myself. My imagination knows no bounds. Story ideas come to me all the time. Granted, most are of dubious merit, but I note them all down regardless.

I'd like to share some of the better ones with you for this blog. I'll let you decide on their quality. Some are little more than a title. Some I nearly finished. All are stories currently untold.

Four Funerals and an Apocalypse -. A quest to kill the Four Horsemen before they bring about the end of the world. A black comedy starring a hapless Hugh Grant-style hero set in fantasy times.

The Vegan Undead – what do zombies eat when they can't stomach flesh? The greengrocer on Supernatural Street sees a business opportunity—a new spin on getting your five-a-day.    

Murderaware.org – an anonymous self-help counselling service for murderers. Think Samaritans for Serial Killers.

The Needs of the Many – dystopian environmental sci-fi about overpopulation. And its sequel, The Land of Hand Me Downs – the story continues after fresh resources run out.

Of Lice and Men – a head louse detective and his pensioner host investigate the Suicide Bug. "A head-scratcher."

The Night Clubber – a killer is brutally murdering the city's clubbers, but the police have no clue as to his identity – no witnesses, no CCTV, no DNA. He simply vanishes into the night. Renowned internet crank Percy McSoftly claims the killer is supernatural, linking the murders to similar cases from a century earlier. But ghosts don't exist. Do they?

The Hand-Out Error – a pharmaceutical inspector investigates a pharmacy incident where a patient died after receiving the wrong medication. The processes point to human error, but something doesn't add up. Could it be murder?

Back For More – "Secrets can't stay hidden forever." Roy has everything: a loving family, a high-flying career and a secret capable of tearing it all apart. His first wife knows what it is. Now she's back for more.

Samberly Cliffs – Robert Sangster declared in his will that his property, Samberly Cliffs, be torn down after his death and the land remain undeveloped, an instruction his nephew Jeremy, the lone beneficiary, has no intention of following. Ignoring the local folklore of monsters lurking in the caves below and the proximity to an infamous cliff-top suicide spot, Jeremy intends to turn a profit. The renovations are only the start of his problems. Think "Homes Under The Hammer Films".    

From Death to Divinity: The Sacred Heart of Sagemore Hospital – Father Jack Muldoon can't find the words to pray as his mother undergoes a revolutionary heart operation. He lost his faith many years ago as an army pastor. Then, religious fanatics attack the hospital, taking everyone hostage. Can he stop them in time to save his mom's life? Think "Die Hard in a Hospital" with a bloody twist.

Then there was this one that came so close – fully outlined, half written, then I lost confidence.

Luck be a Lady (Paisley Curse Book One) – In an alternative present-day Paisley, dubbed Britain's unluckiest town, Basil returns home, having lost his job, his girlfriend and his last living relative. Feeling cursed and all alone, except for Prince, his deceased grandmother's mongrel, he reconnects with old friend Shuggie and dreams of reuniting with his first crush, Lydia, whilst joining the local dog walkers' fight to save the local beauty spot. In doing so, he discovers that luck is not entirely a game of chance, especially when up against Council Leader Edith McKie. To save the Braes and win his girl, it's going to take Basil a lot more than 'lucky white heather' to break his Paisley Curse. Odds are he's going to lose everything.

Finally, I give you my current work in progress, a tale so long in the telling it will be historical fiction by the time it's completed. I'm on my third draft.

School of Thought – 'a disabled teenager enrols her mind at an extraordinary school in the clouds.' Think Hogwarts meets Alice in Wonderland.  

So, why submit this piece to a crime writers' blog? I believe not writing these stories is a crime. I’m guilty as charged. Punishment: write two thousand words a day until published.

(all art generated by Microsoft's new Copilot – it likes cute – it doesn't like murder)

Blog originally submitted to Murder is Everywhere 7th Feb 2025