Alex Edelman - "Just For Us" - The Stand, Glasgow. Sunday 15th March 2020.

I've been so lucky this week as all the gigs I'd planned to go to went ahead. Next week, Trevor Noah's show has already been postponed and it looks like the government response to the coronavirus will shut down everything else. 

Tonight, Alex announced this would be the last date of his UK tour, having pulled his remaining shows due to the escalating health crisis. He thanked us for coming out during a pandemic to see a Jew. The room wasn't full (the curtain had been pulled across the balcony to reduce its size and there were a few empty seats) but it still felt like a substantial audience. The age range was broad.

At the start, I worried when he went into his bit about Koko, the gorilla who learned to communicate using sign language. I'd heard him perform this before on TV and on the radio and remembered all the punchlines. Fortunately, this was just the starting off point to describe the type of material he used to do, ie dumb jokes. This show was intentionally going deeper but he assured us it was still going to be funny. 

And it was. 

His story introduces us first to anti-semitic trolls then moves onto its core element, a Nazi meeting in Brooklyn which he attended out of curiosity, with those present not knowing he was a Jew. He makes it feel real with minute details so we can understand the setting and characters present. At times, he diverts from the main story to fill us in on aspects of his upbringing and family and his religion to help us understand what life for him is like as a Jew.    

The show is crafted beautifully, keeping us rapt. There was not a single heckle. The only interruption to his flow came when a woman in the front rested her feet on the stage and he kicked them off gently, telling her off-mic not to do that. 

He reminds us near the end that his show is entertainment, that he, as a comedian, has smoothed off the edges to make it funny and more palatable. He gives examples of the type of prejudice Jews face publicly every day but is clever enough to bring his focus back to the personal. When the attendees of the meeting out him as a Jew, it makes their response more hateful because we now know these characters as people. Obviously, he gets the last laugh.

Afterwards, as we left, I noticed Fred MacAuley standing at the back with a pint in his hand and a cap on his head. I nodded a greeting. Then Alex bounced over to the bar and got a big man hug from a fan, who asked him if he was playing Edinburgh this year. I never heard the response as we left but the close personal contact shocked me. I've heard of comedians wanting to go viral but this was ridiculous.

Now wash your hands.
   

Stereophonics, "Kind 2020", SSE Hydro, Glasgow. Wednesday, 11th March 2020.

Security was tight tonight at the Hydro with the male bouncer vigorously frisking me, only pausing at my jacket pocket when he was unable to identify a tepe brush. He was, however, from touch, able to identify a sweetie wrapper inside my denim's change pocket. At one point I thought he was going to ask me to cough (he didn't go that far - my dignity remains intact). Conversely, my wife got waved in without any physical interference. Fortunately, she wasn't tooled up with anything other than her elbows (we had standing tickets).

Inside, our tickets were stamped as were our wrists (in case they were subsequently removed by some coronavirus-preventing handwashing). Access to the arena was still closed via the door stipulated on our ticket, Door B, so we waited in the foyer until we overheard a security person direct another ticketholder to Door A.  

The door confusion seemed to work in our favour as the arena was quiet and we managed to grab an ideal spot close to the front of the mini-stage in the centre of the hall. The extended stage was probably the reason for the door closure, not wanting a last-minute influx directly in front of this area.

The support act, the Wind and the Wave, also played on Kelly's solo tour, only now there was four of them, adding a drummer and an electric guitarist. The bigger sound was better but still of no great interest to me. The Texas act remained on stage for an interminable forty minutes.

As usual, just before the headliner appeared, latecomers pushed their way forward. Two such people, a young man and his wife, landed beside me, him carrying a cardboard rack with four pints of Foster's lager. She helped him remove their lids and took one for herself then handed him his. He exclaimed what was he thinking buying four, then proceeded to down the first. I can't tell what age he was from his looks. If he was a cut of beef, I would describe him as fatty. His wife looked older but maybe living with him had aged her. She gave him his next pint and lifted out the last one so he could discard the tray. She then handed the last pint, leaving him with one in each hand, a process I can imagine her using at home to prevent initiation of foreplay. 

The band begins, though the hall lights don't go out until midway through the first song. Our view is excellent with Kelly singing right in front of us. They play hit after hit and the sound is brilliant, the lighting fantastic and the crowd loves them. So far, so good. About forty minutes into the gig, Mr Beefy, decides he wants to take a picture but needs both hands to hold his phone so wedges the plastic tumbler with its near-full pint between his upper arm and chest. I then discover he is a premature spiller as the contents ejaculate down the side of my jacket, trousers and shoes. He shrugs, holding the now crushed container with a dribble left inside, and gives me the look that I'm sure he's given his wife a thousand times: "Sorry". I spend the rest of the gig smelling of beer, slowly drying out.

It didn't dampen my enthusiasm though.

More people push in but we hold our ground. The posh girl nearby gets annoyed by the jostling and tells her boyfriend. She requests they stop. They ignore him. She puts up with it for a while then communicates to her boyfriend that she's going. They both leave. 

My wife is their next target in their quest to move forward. They don't reckon on my wife's elbows. This is the woman that protected a barrier for forty minutes at a Take That concert while her friend went to the toilet. They are going to wake up with some mighty sore bruises on Thursday.

The gig was superb, a real joy. A great view, great lighting and great songs. Kelly at one point told us he has recorded over 160 songs. With such a strong back catalogue, the show was always going to be good but even the new songs fitted in nicely. I loved it, despite smelling of beer.

Setlist: 
C'est la vie
I Wanna Get Lost With You
Bust This Town
Geronimo
Maybe Tomorrow
Have a Nice Day
Mr Writer
Hungover for You
Restless Mind
Local Boy in the Photograph
A Thousand Trees
I Wouldn't Believe Your Radio
Traffic
Make Friends With the Morning
Indian Summer
Mr and Mrs Smith
Fly Like an Eagle
Superman
Don't Let the Devil Take Another Day
Handbags and Gladrags (Mike d’Abo cover)
Before Anyone Knew Our Name
Sunny
The Bartender and the Thief

Encore:
Elevators
Just Looking
Dakota

  

  

Steve Martin and Martin Short, "The Funniest Show In Town At The Moment", SSE Hydro, Glasgow. Monday 9th March, 2020

Their last show was called An Evening You Will Forget for the Rest of Your Life. I didn't realise they intended this as an instruction because the new show is the same as the old one, albeit with a slightly amended script. The material has been updated to include local and contemporary references (Paisley gets a mention tonight), cutting out the more America-centric ones but, essentially, this is the Netflix special, extended edition.

The Hydro was far from a sellout with the upper level curtained off along with large chunks of the middle tier. This meant that the sound echoed in the empty space when it wasn't being drowned out by laughter. We had front row seats with an awkward viewing angle at the far left of the stage. From here, we could see their auto prompts and couldn't help but notice how often they regularly referred to them. Still as 74 and 69 respectively, you can forgive them for needing assistance with the lines.

I didn't care. This was Steve Martin, my comedy hero, live. The jokes are still funny third time around because both performers know how to sell them. Steve has comedic precision and Marty gives everything his trademark showbiz gusto. It was exciting to be there, to laugh along with the audience and to pick up on the fluffs and the one duffer that didn't travel well. I totally bottled the opportunity to go onto the stage to perform as one of the local Three Amigos, keeping my eyes down when Mike Farrell, sitting in for Jeff Bibko, came down searching the audience for volunteers.

I was only disappointed by the merch on sale. I'd brought extra cash to buy a memento but it was all really poor: a white mug with an orange outline of their faces, a tote bag with the same image, a CD and a couple of generic tour posters. They all looked cheap and amateur. Not worth buying.   

Instead, I have my memories and a slight crick of the neck from twisting my head to the right all night. But it was worth it.

David Baddiel, "Trolls: Not the Dolls", Kings Theatre, Glasgow. sunday 8th March, 2020

Essentially, this is a show where a comedian spends two hours using PowerPoint to show us his funny tweets and replies and the responses from his fans and internet trolls. As a concept, it should get boring but it doesn't because David uses the format to breakdown the responses into groups and themes and explains his rationale for engaging the trolls with humour, highlighting their own ignorances and prejudice. It takes us to some dark places (the abduction of Madeline McCann and the Holocaust) but always with an eye on humour and the ridiculousness of the trolls. 

I chuckled consistently, even laughing out loud at times. Maybe if I'd been a follower of his Twitter feed the hilarity would have been lessened by familiarity but his presentation is faultless. He even let us slag him at the end using a mock troll account.

The night is a joy.     

The man on the right laughed his head off and the show hadn't even started.

The audience feedback at the end.

    

Elvis Costello and the Imposters, 'Just Trust' Tour, SEC Armadillo, Glasgow. Thursday 5th March, 2020.

Walking to the venue inside the Big Red Tube across the expressway, our ears were assaulted by the teenage cult of Capaldi screeching out his hit, Before You Go, at full volume, louder even than the buskers with their amps. The girls were heading to the Hydro to hear Bathgate's biggest pop star. We were going to the Armadillo to see a different act, where the average audience age was old enough to be their papas. 

Elvis Costello is sixty-five, beat prostate cancer and recently won another Grammy. He's been around since the late seventies and deserves kudos for some great songs. I wouldn't describe myself as a rabid fan, owning one greatest hits CD from 1999 and another album on tape, but I like him enough to be curious to hear him play live. 

Unfortunately, to quote his own lyric from Oliver's Army, "I would rather be anywhere else, but here today". It was painful. He always had a peculiar singing voice but tonight it was more off-key than on. On top of that, Steve Nieve on keyboards seemed to want to play a different tune to the rest of the band and be louder than everyone else. It didn't come across as particularly cohesive. 

There were some pluses. The two backing singers, Kitten and Brianna Lee, were fantastic, synchronising their moves to the music and possessing amazing gospel-style voices. The lighting was occasionally impressive and Elvis can play a mean electric guitar and tinkle a tune on the piano. It was just a shame that when he sang he occasionally murdered the song, Shipbuilding being awful. I'm glad he didn't attempt She. The frustrating thing was sometimes he was great, belting out the tune and nailing it, such as during the final number, Peace, Love and Understanding. I just think I shouldn't be cringing listening to a performer of his calibre. Simon Cowell would have been holding up his hand to stop the performance saying he'd heard enough, sending him home.

The fans lapped it up, giving Elvis a standing ovation multiple times during the show. I think many were still reliving the glory days of their youth, their hearing aids muted.  

On the walk back to the car, the Capaldi girls were still outside singing that tune. I suspect they had a better night than me. 

Setlist
Strict Time (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Clubland (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Green Shirt (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Accidents Will Happen (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Watch Your Step (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Tokyo Storm Warning (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
I Let the Sun Go Down
(I Don't Want to Go to) Chelsea (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Unwanted Number
Watching the Detectives (Elvis Costello song)
A Good Year for the Roses (George Jones cover)
A Face in the Crowd (Elvis Costello song)
Flutter & Wow
I Can't Stand Up for Falling Down (Sam & Dave cover)
Radio Radio (Elvis Costello song)
High Fidelity (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
From a Whisper to a Scream (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Alison (Elvis Costello song)
Everyday I Write the Book (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Pump It Up (Elvis Costello song)

Encore:
Shipbuilding (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
I Want You (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
Oliver's Army (Elvis Costello & The Attractions cover)
(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding (Brinsley Schwarz cover)