Madness, The Ladykillers Tour, OVO Hydro, Glasgow. Friday 3rd December, 2021

Prior to the gig, we enjoyed a sneaky game of Macdonalds' bingo, eating in, waiting patiently for our one number to be called to win an evening feast for two: ticket price - an evening feast for two. 

Our stomachs duly satisfied, we headed for the venue and joined one of the long but quick queues outside, firstly to get out Covid passports checked then to get frisked then to get our tickets scanned and a wrist band attached. My frisk was not without incident as the security man discovered my change pocket was full of forgotten dog treats. He looked at me suspiciously but let me in. I suspect the smell would have told him they weren't edibles.

Squeeze came on just after 7.30 pm and played a tight hour-long set full of familiar hits and a couple I wasn't so sure about. Glenn Tillbrook can rock a mean guitar which I was not expecting. It was great to hear the Hydro singing along to a strong support act.

The DJ did a fine job of keeping our vocal cords and our dancing feet warmed up between the bands. Dressed in a suit and shades, a handkerchief poking out of his jacket pocket, he had the style and verve of Reggie Kray and played some fine tunes. 

A lesser band would struggle to follow Squeeze but this was not a concern for Madness. Drawing back the curtains to the backdrop of a London street, complete with a telephone box, red pillar box, street lights, railings and an Underground entrance, Madness took the stage, grabbed the audience and held on till they departed before the encore. Then on came a bagpiper to play our national anthem and Scotland the Brave and the band returned to top off the evening with a couple more hits, finishing on Night Boat to Cairo, playing us out with Monty Python's Always Look On the Bright Side of Life.

Suggs is an excellent raconteur and ringleader for his band of miscreants, full of tales and comic quips. The sound was occasionally muddy but improved as the gig progressed. The audience loved them and danced and sang along in their fezs, trilbys and porkpie hats. It was a great night.

The gig did have its share of drunken doughballs who insisted on pushing forward but not in an ill-mannered way. In the break between the bands, one incensed individual was carried out off the ground at a forty-five-degree angle by a posse of security guards, his double chin straining as he struggled to keep his head upright while he cursed and argued with them. It was the first time I'd seen this level of action. Normally the drunks get led out not carried. I suspect he'd been fighting. 

Would I go back to see Madness again? Probably not. It was a special night but I've ticked them off my bucket list.

Setlist : Squeeze

Take Me I'm Yours

Up the Junction

Hourglass

Cradle to the Grave

Slap and Tickle

F-Hole

Labelled With Love

Please

Pulling Mussels (From the Shell)

Tempted

Cool for Cats

Black Coffee in Bed

Setlist: Madness 

One Step Beyond (Prince Buster cover)

Embarrassment

The Prince

NW5

My Girl

Take It or Leave It

The Sun and the Rain

Baby Burglar

Wings of a Dove

One Better Day

Lovestruck

If I Go Mad

Shut Up

Mr. Apples

Bed and Breakfast Man

Wooly Bully (Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs cover)

House of Fun

Baggy Trousers

Our House

It Must Be Love (Labi Siffre cover)

Encore:

Madness (Prince Buster cover)

Night Boat to Cairo

 

 

   

 

Holy Moly and the Crackers, Audio, Glasgow. Sat 9th October, 2021

My third gig post-lockdown and this was the one where I feared most that I'd catch Covid: small, steamy venue; no pre-checks required; no testing at the door; hardly anyone wearing masks inside; no social distancing; lots of alcohol being consumed and plenty of loud conversations between people determined to be heard over the music. Akin to playing Russian roulette with a couple of empty chambers already clicked.

I'm still glad I went.

The first support act, Rob Heron, appeared dressed like a French man (his words) and played a set of old-time music. He carried an air of Lonnie Donegan via Miles Jupp. His personality won over most pockets of the audience. Not sure if he managed to double his sales though, with a night target of two LPs.

Rob Heron

The second support act was True Strays, a rock-blues combo, inhabiting the spirit of truckstop America's Deep South. Imagine Seasick Steve as a duo. I wasn't enamoured by their weak cover of ZZ Top's Gimme All Your Lovin' but their original material went down well. Technical sound gremlins hampered their show with the mics often not working. It turned out the venue's sound engineer had called in sick with Covid and they'd had to bring in a last-minute replacement and he was having a nightmare keeping everything wired up. At one point the two guys played acapella at the front of the stage to let the engineer fix things and from then on it went fine, apart from the occasional issue with the sound levels. 

True Strays

The headliners, Holy Moly and the Crackers are (to quote their website) "innovative and fiery folk-rockers, who put on a raucous and feel-good party, where everyone is invited". This was evident by the wide range of their audience: from students to pensioners, working-class to moneyed-class. I stumbled across the band during lockdown thanks to an Amazon Music "You Might Like" suggestion. Their combination of catchy tunes and eastern European rhythms was beguiling so I took a punt on seeing them live. They did not disappoint.

Beforehand, I was not aware Ruth Patterson, their frontwoman, was disabled. She was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlon Syndrome at 21 and performs from a seat in the centre of the stage. She normally gets around in a wheelchair but this wasn't an option with Audio's small stage so Conrad Bird, the band's other frontman, carried her on piggyback-style. Seeing the frontwoman lowered to a seat this way unsettled me as I didn't know what was wrong with her. Perform sitting down, thrusting out her arms and dancing with her upper body, she quickly dissolved any awkwardness proving her disability didn't detract from her and our enjoyment. She had a great time singing, playing the fiddle and whipping up the crowd. 

So too did Conrad with his earthy vocals, guitar playing and trumpeting. Indeed, the band meshed as a tight unit to create their unique sound and party atmosphere. Again, there were a few minor sound gremlins but nothing serious.

I would definitely see these gypsy troubadours again, hopefully in a venue where the audience did less drinking and chatting during the show. 

No Setlist, unfortunately, though they did finish on Whiskey Aint No Good, written by Rob Heron, with him and True Strays joining them for the final song. 

My phone camera kept playing up so I have only a few pics from the show worth sharing.

  

Manic Street Preachers, "The Ultra Vivid Lament Tour", Glasgow Barrowland. Tues 5th October, 2021

On the day I received my flu shot and second Covid booster (one in each arm), I ventured out to Glasgow armed with my vaccine passport, mask and tickets for only my second gig in eighteen months (and this one was standing). Was I going to be gig fit and last the night?

Arriving after 7.30 pm (doors open 7 pm), we got straight through security with minimum fuss (a couple of questions re covid symptoms and a temperature check). We weren't even frisked. The dancehall was empty bar the hardcore at the front and a smattering of fans at the fringes. We settled on a spot in the middle rear part of the hall, further back than the disco ball,which hangs from the centre of the ceiling.

The support act was not The Ancores as advertised (not that I would have recognised them anyway) but a band from Hull called Low Hummer. The girl singer was in a bright red Cheongsam while the other singing bloke looked like a newly-qualified social studies teacher in his beige long-sleeved t-shirt, hands in his trouser pockets as he walked around the stage. 

Low Hummer

They play what I would describe as a retro, post-punk indie with a heavy drum beat and vocals that are as often spoken as sung. And I liked them (enough to do an internet search to check out who they were based on the few song titles I could make out). The keyboard player was so gorgeous I had to keep reminding myself I was old enough to be her dad and she would have an accent like comedian Lucy Beaumont. 

Elegant and cool!

I listened to their newly released debut album, "Modern Tricks For Living" on Amazon Music afterwards and was surprised by how 80's synth-heavy it was. This aspect wasn't apparent on the night.

The Manics opened with Motorcycle Emptiness and the Glasgow crowd came alive, taking over the vocals for the chorus. James Dean Bradfield commented afterwards in his inimitable Wesh accent, "Well, you turned up, didn't you!" Over the course of one hundred minutes, they performed a variety of old and new songs. One nice touch was when they played a few bars of Into the Valley by The Skids before going into a cover of GnR's Sweet Child O Mine. They've been varying the intro across the tour so the Scottish flavour was apt for the Glasgow show. 

The crowd was packed, with latecomers pushing their way towards the middle. Somehow I always manage to end up in a section of the crowd that forms a corridor to the bar with traffic moving in both directions. Two assholes clutching pints decided to stop right in front of me. To add insult to injury, the bald one turned around, saw my annoyance and had the balls to say "Look mate, we're not pushing in. We've been standing here all night. We just both went for a pint," then turned around again and chuckled to his mate. Believing that to be a lie, my impotent rage went into overdrive. I began to imagine drawing a garrotte from my belt and slicing his neck till the blood poured down his shirt like a waterfall. Whenever he sucked on his vape, I wanted to shove his head forward so hard he smashed his teeth against it and choked on it as it got wedged down his throat. His bearded pal deserved to get his pint sprinkled with powdered dog training treats but my supply had been emptied prior to departure in case the staff thought I was carrying Scooby snacks. Obviously, this was all in my head and I did nothing but fume and clap uncomfortably loudly close to the bald guy's head at the end of each song. 

The Manics gave a great performance and the audience loved them, As did I. My only minor gripe was with the lighting which was regularly blinding and a bit unimaginative. I suspect it was designed for a venue with a higher ceiling. But that's rock n roll for you.

I kept my mask on for the entire show (I was very much in the minority there) but still managed to sing along despite my tickly upper lip. The next morning, I was rewarded with a croaky, deep voice, which attests it was a great night out.     

Setlist

Motorcycle Emptiness

Orwellian

Your Love Alone Is Not Enough

The Secret He Had Missed

You Stole the Sun From My Heart

Little Baby Nothing

Still Snowing in Sapporo

Everything Must Go

Complicated Illusions

International Blue

If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next

From Despair to Where (Acoustic)

Into the Valley (The Skids - Intro only)

Sweet Child o' Mine (Guns N’ Roses cover)

Tsunami

Afterending

Slash 'n' Burn

Spectators of Suicide

Ocean Spray

You Love Us

A Design for Life

Addendum: Having looked through my photos of the night, I have subsequently discovered those two chaps were indeed in front of me on the other side of the traffic corridor. 

Addendum two: in today's PDE there is a report that a student has been convicted of assault to severe injury for shoving a man in a takeaway. The student was verbally provoked by the aggressive drunk but still got fined £625 because there was no excuse for his behaviour. 

A timely reminder of the consequences of violence. It's never worth it.  

Paloma Faith: "The Infinite Things Tour", SEC Armadillo, Glasgow. Sat 18th Sept, 2021

My first gig in over eighteen months thanks to a little thing called Covid-19. The security man ushering the queue outside the venue reminded us to scan the track and trace sign so we could get ten days off work afterwards. He was being funny but with the infection rates in GG&C being so high, he may not have been far off the truth (I'll know in a couple of days).

A brief wave of a security wand in lieu of a frisk and we move up to get our tickets scanned. This is my first time using the Ticketmaster app ("your mobile is your ticket") and I'm nervous. I've pre-loaded the tickets ready to be scanned but then my screen times out. I reenter my passcode and, instead of seeing a lovely QR code, I get the buffering symbol. Panic! I'm at the front of the queue. I hastily reload the app, tap into my account, press the event and, fortunately, the ticket screen loads. Beep, beep and effing beep. I stop swearing internally and we are allowed in. (I'm not impressed by this paperless system in case you haven't guessed).  

Inside, not everyone is wearing a mask.  I can see their logic. They have drinks so would need to remove them as if at a bar. They will be dancing and you don't need to wear a mask on a nightclub dancefloor (because everyone knows Covid is a wallflower). I still wear mine. It feels uncomfortable and is warm around my mouth, making my glasses steam up. During the gig, singing feels inhibited as the fabric presses against my face. I keep it on "to be safe" but I'm not sure it was necessary given my LFD is negative and my mask only protects others from me, not vice versa.

There were quite a few gaps in the crowd despite only a few tickets being left to buy on Ticketmaster, perhaps another consequence of the pandemic. I reckon some have kept away due to fear of infection, with the knock-on effect of being unable to resell their tickets due to a not-sold-out gig. Perhaps some unused seats are due to those isolating and therefore unable to attend.

But what of the gig?

Support act, Josef Salvat, a 32-year-old Australian singer-songwriter, walked confidently onto the stage with his two bandmates and performed adequately. He sings what I would describe as pleasant Euro-pop but, to me, he came across like a contestant on the X-Factor who had a good voice but didn't have the magic to propel them beyond the knock out stages. Forgettable.

A giant curtain blocked off the majority of the stage. Paloma came on in front of it with a couple of her bandmates at 8.45pm and sang her first number then chatted to bring us up to date with what has been happening in her life since the last tour: the devastation the pandemic brought to all our lives, particularly in her industry; the birth of her second child; and the release of her fifth album that only sold about five copies despite her thinking it is her best work ever. She missed playing live and was nervous about coming back after such a long gap but she loves it so much.

The curtain dropped during the next number to reveal the rest of her band, a tight five-piece with two backing singers. No room (or money) this time around for her brass section. It's a smaller venue than the Hydro, which she played last time, but she still has the performing chops to carry the smaller crowd. I was glad we had tickets in the stalls as it gave the gig a more intimate feel. For once the bouncers were more relaxed about people using the aisles to dance and Paloma praised them for allowing her audience to party. The gig had a feel-good vibe. She played a mix of old and new plus a few covers. It was great to be there. 

There are always some people that stand out at these gigs and tonight was no exception: first of all, sitting in the front row (of course), was the tall, bean-pole drag queen in a tatty blonde wig who, from the off, kept rising to his feet waving his arms and dancing like a rigid forecourt inflatable. He was initially asked by security to remain seated but Paloma insisted the audience should be on their feet dancing so they relented. Quite a character.

Then, behind me, there were the sweet teens with their parents. Before the gig, the girls insisted on recreating the family picture they took at their last Paloma Faith gig so they could post a 2018/2021 comparison photo on whatever social media platform they use. During the concert, the girls knew every lyric and sang in tune, albeit at a higher pitch than Paloma. It was like listening to audio subtitles. At first, it was lovely hearing them, their enthusiasm growing in volume as the gig progressed. Then it started to grate. I was here to hear Paloma not a night of teen cover versions. When their father started talking loudly during a quieter number it felt like I was with them in their living room watching a Gogglebox live stream while they had a family chat. I turned and scowled (as did the bloke on my right). It made no difference. It was only when Paloma moved onto upbeat disco mode, the conversation ended. This time the music drowned the girls out.

Then there was the odd couple in front of us. They were maybe in their late 30s. She was taller than me with long blonde hair. He was short and bald with glasses. She downed multiple plastic glasses of wine, while he stuck to his double pints (on repeated occasions). She wanted to dance. He wanted to sit and drink his pint. She spotted a couple of tall gay blokes dancing further along the aisle and insisted on joining their party. They exited the row to dance in the aisle to get away from her but she followed them like she was connected by bendy elastic. Her bloke left, exiting in the other direction. When the song ended, the dancing crowd returned to their seats and the blonde didn't know where her partner had gone. She looked around. No sign. She checked her phone. No message. I could see the dull panic in her inebriated eyes as the consequences of her action soaked in. Or perhaps she was thinking how am I going to get home? She still swayed to the music but her eyes panned around looking for him. When he did eventually return with another two pints, she gave him a massive hug and celebrated like her number had been called at a raffle. The party continued until she needed to sit down, having not paced herself to last the entire gig.

Afterwards, around 10.30pm, we exited the venue. Outside, the heavens had opened. Finally, after a balmy, extended dry summer, the normal Glasgow weather had returned. Business as usual, like me going to a gig.

Only I was out of practice. I hadn't brought a coat, or an umbrella, and had bought a programme. Somehow it survived the walk back to the car, though my shirt was soaked through.

Setlist

Last Night on Earth
Gold
Crybaby
Do You Want the Truth or Something Beautiful?
Infinite Things
Guilty
Beautiful & Damned
Stone Cold Sober / Stargazer / 30 Minute Love Affair / Upside Down
Picking Up the Pieces
Monster
Can't Rely on You
I'm Every Woman (Chaka Khan cover)
Changing (Sigma cover)
If This Is Goodbye
Encore:

Only Love Can Hurt Like This
Better Than This
Lullaby (Sigala cover)