GUN, "The Calton Songs Tour 22", Barrowlands, Glasgow. Sat 10th December 2022

Despite arriving later than intended, we found a parking space near to the venue. The short walk was Baltic with a real chill in the air and black ice on the pavement (I nearly went on my arse twice). Fortunately, we didn't have to wait long outside as the queue was tiny by this time.

This, unfortunately, meant the security team were under no time pressure and my frisking official did his duty with forensic diligence, even locating two pockets in my wallet that I didn't even know existed. He demonstrated a determination hitherto unseen by concertgoers, akin to a junkie looking for a fix, as he pulled out my credit cards and sorted through the notes and coins searching for illegal contraband. His eagerness was probably the consequence of him finding the Wagg dog treats that I'd forgotten were in my change pocket, which he didn't believe weren't illicit. I commented, "a sniffer dog could tell you they're not drugs", but then realised that suggestion would backfire if put into practice, the excited dog wagging its tail for the snack, ending up with me getting a cavity search.  For all his fastidiousness though, he forgot to look under my hat, a small tip for all you drug mules out there.

Gin Annie, the second support act (we'd arrived too late to see the first one, Empyre), were excellent with a tight sound and great tunes. My wife didn't like them much because of all the gratuitous swearing, particularly from the guitarist (I'd never take her to see Biffy 'Fucking' Clyro). In a certain light, the lead singer could pass for Guz Khan in what became the first of three lookalikes of the evening.

The third support act, King Herd, disappointed me. I only enjoyed one of the songs, Halo. When the bassist and guitarist added their backing vocals, they were so out of tune, they sounded F**king Awful (as I later dubbed the band). By the end of their set, there were more audience eyes on their phones than the stage as people followed the final minutes of added time in the England World Cup game against France, the result coming through as the band left the stage. I like to think some of the muted cheers were for the band's departure.

The night's second lookalike came in the shape of the band's bassist, rocking some army reservist clobber, akin to Nick Frost in Spaced. 

I missed GUN's Barrowland show last year because I had to isolate after being in contact with someone with Covid so I was excited to see them (even though I'd caught them at their Hard Rock Cafe show recently). They'd had to cancel the two previous dates on the tour due to illness so I wasn't sure what kind of performance to expect. They'd also replaced Tommy on guitar for reasons never explained. 

When ACDC's It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'N' Roll) came on loud and clear, the excitement started to build. A plain white curtain formed a backdrop along the entire length of the stage. The lights went down and the image of a Chinese dragon flew across the backdrop, twisting and turning until eventually, it came for the audience, jaws widening, revealing the GUN logo. And we were off...

If they were under the weather, it didn't show. Dante's vocals were powerful (though later in the set you could sense they were beginning to crack) and the band rocked us loudly. The audience was loud too singing along to their anthems in a set more focused on the older songs, the ones written at the Calton. 

Introducing the second song, Dante had a cheeky wee pop at England, renaming it, "It's not Coming Home", followed by Vive La France, much to our amusement. 

They hadn't come on till 9.30 pm so fourteen songs later at 11 pm,  I figured they were going to have to cut the set short. But no, they kept playing, finishing on a high at ten past with Shame on You and Fight For Your Right ( to Party). Or Paaaaaaaaaar-tay, as we all screamed.

The third lookalike of the evening came in the shape of new/old guitarist Dave Aitken who I believe is a dead ringer for Ricky Warwick of Black Star Riders (albeit with fewer tattoos and longer hair).   

A great night and I managed to avoid falling on the way back to the car.

Setlist  (subject to confirmation - my memory's not that good)

Backstreet Brothers

Something to Believe in

Here's Where I Am

Coming Home

Seems Like I'm Losing You

Don't Say It's Over

Word Up! (Cameo cover)

Money to Burn

Watching the World Go By

Money (Everybody Loves Her)

Better Days

Inside Out

Steal Your Fire

Encore

Higher Ground (acoustic)

Taking on the World (acoustic then full band)

Shame on You

(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party!) (Beastie Boys cover)

Ticket Price £31.10

Gin Annie

King Herd

Here be dragons

Someone wants to ask a question

Vive La France

Sean Connery, a big fan of bunnets 

Paaaaaaaaaaaar-tay

Mark Thomas, "Black and White", The Stand, Glasgow. Thursday 1st December, 2022

A new tour from Mark Thomas but not necessarily all-new material. Revised would be a more appropriate term. Even though I'd seen him perform the same bits twice on the last tour, his passionate performance carried him through. his hotchpotch of gags, stories and political vehemence for the Tories still generating the requisite belly laughs and shoulder wobblers.

Tonight's message was to look after your communities because no one in power is going to do so. Before the interval, he encouraged us to consider what our song for Glasgow would be, our city anthem as it were, expecting us to come up with something for the second half. Someone immediately shouted, "Billy Connolly", confusing Mark as the Big Yin isn't a song. This was then followed up by "If it wisnae for yer wellies" sparking the crowd to launch spontaneously into a rendition of the song up to the chorus. A live moment that touched Mark's heart (and mine). 

A loud librarian also played a key role in proceedings tonight when she threw in the word bomb "Bastards" in response to something Mark said. Mark asked her to repeat it not having made out what she said. Three goes later another helpful punter translated the word for him: "illegitimate persons". Mark later dubbed her the Loudbrarian and invited her to chuck in her catchphrase at appropriate moments. 

My wife spotted the comedian Parrot in the audience sitting in front of us. He didn't offer to act as MC tonight, which was probably best for all of us. 

Although I may have heard Mark's Wimbledon AFC chants, his Barry Cryer stories, his gag about sharps bins (that wouldn't apply in GG&C) and all his tales about his mum, it was still a fantastic night of comedy. Exactly what I needed after not having my best day at work.

On the way home, a crash on the motorway brought traffic to a crawl. Three lanes out of four were strewn with debris. One car sat perpendicular to the traffic, its nose nudging the central crash barrier, another had been crushed in the rear and had people working on it to open the side doors. Other vehicles sat parked on all the affected lanes, their hazard lights flashing. No sign of police or ambulance yet on the scene. With only one lane open and everyone angling to go along it, one smartarse in a white Audi SUV overtook everyone, dashing up the hard shoulder. I reckoned this qualified him as the word Mark called the Tories. It began with C and wasn't Conservative. 

Nuff said.

Nina Nesbitt, Älskar UK Tour, Galvanizers SWG3, Glasgow. Tuesday 22nd November, 2022

Why would I want to go to see Scottish singer-songwriter, Nina Nesbitt, perform in Glasgow? Let me think...

Still trying to think...

I can't think. 

Really. She has that effect on me. 

She writes and performs beautiful songs about love in all its forms. I've been streaming her new album consistently ever since it came out. I am totally besotted with her.

I thought hard about whether to attend this gig. As a man in my fifties, I'm not exactly her audience demographic (teen girl and older). It might look a bit sad being the lonely old man in a crowd of teenies. Fortunately, I knew a couple of young people who were going and tagged along (thank you, Julie and Scott).

I managed to park close by and after being stamped on the inner wrist by security (how do they decide which part to tag?), we headed into the venue. As expected, the audience was predominantly young and female. There was so much oestrogen in the room, I worried my period would start to sync with theirs and, as a man, that would be a worry.

We missed the first support act, Lonely Twin, but arrived in time to hear Katelyn Tarver perform her set. She's from Los Angeles, is also an actress, and tonight sang accompanied by a man on guitar (she did introduce him but I can't remember his name). During her cover of The Only Exception, his guitar started to distort with feedback so she paused the song to check if we could hear that. Rather than halt the gig, the man simply walked across to the piano and continued to accompany her for the rest of the set on that instrument totally unrehearsed. What a talent! 

Katelyn's voice is exquisite and she hit all the right notes with me. A joy to listen to. It was just a shame the audience at that time was so small but she took it in good spirits.  

When Nina came on I was struck by how long her legs are, an effect enhanced by the shortness of her yellow skirt. She strode back and forth across the stage during the early numbers singing to the fans on either side before settling onto a stool with an acoustic guitar then later at the piano, to perform the softer numbers. 

Her voice was ethereal and captured the sound of the album, albeit with backing track vocals to enhance the effect. The performance of Heirlooms, accompanied harmoniously by her two support acts, was a magical experience and quite beautiful. It was the first time on the tour they had performed the song this way. I hadn't even thought to take a video of it and kicked myself afterwards.  

If I had any complaint about the show it would be that she plays too many slow songs. Her biggest tunes tend to be ballads. While they are beautifully written and sound wonderful, she needs a few more upbeat ones to lift the audience. Something of her own perhaps akin to Adele's Rolling in the Deep or Taylor Swift's Shake it Off. 

Of course, reflecting on this desire to change her to suit my needs means I haven't accepted her for who she is and any relationship we might have ever had is already doomed to failure. My dream of being asked to join her on stage to croon a duet of one of her love songs Bradley Cooper-style while staring into her sparkly eyes is over before it was ever (a star is) born. 

Just as well because I cannot sing. We'll just have to remain imaginary friends.

Ticket price: £15 (plus booking fee)

Setlist  (Non-VIP)

Intro Gaol

Teenage Chemistry

Pressure Makes Diamonds

Colder

No Time (For My Life to Suck)

Limited Edition (Somebody Special Played During Instrumental )

Dinner Table (Nina Solo Acoustic)

I Should Be a Bird (Nina Solo Acoustic)

Older Guys (Nina Solo Acoustic)

Heirlooms (Nina Acoustic with Katelyn Tarvin and Lonely Twin)

Last December (Nina Solo Keyboard)

Colours Of You

When You Lose Someone

Loyal to Me

Love Letter (Last Verse & Chorus)

Need You

Chewing Gum

Life's a Bitch

Cry Dancing

Encore:

Is It Really Me You're Missing

Älskar

The Best You Had

Saxon, "Seize The Day" World Tour, Glasgow Barrowlands. Monday 21st November, 2022

This gig was rescheduled more times than we've had prime ministers this year. Originally due to take place in 2019 at the Braehead Arena, celebrating Saxon's forty years in the business, with Black Star Riders and Girlschool in support, it got postponed to allow time for lead singer, Biff Byford, to recover from triple-bypass heart surgery. A new date was arranged for March 2020, now at the Barrowlands but without BSR. That date got moved to 2021 because of Covid and then moved again to 2022. Two albums later, it's still at the Barrowland but now has Machine Head as special guests. At least it gave them long enough to sell out the venue.

I first saw Saxon in 1984 on their Crusader tour (for the princely sum of £4.50 - no booking fees back then). It was my second-ever gig and they were amazing with their massive castle set filling the Glasgow Apollo stage. Biff Byford, a proud Englishman, was funny, teasing the Scottish crowd to be better than his countryman in raising the roof. We were so good we almost demolished the place.

The next time I saw them was in '86 at the Edinburgh Playhouse, with Loudness in support. That gig was a joke of almost Spinal Tap proportions - the lights went down and Saxon didn't appear for ages. When they did, the front smoke booms fired too early and had cleared by the time the band rushed on stage making them look like they were running late for school. Biff's vocals were strained and, by then, they were chasing the American dream so their new material was aimed at cracking that market. The power and the glory was lost. 

While other bands of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal continued to play large arenas, Saxon faded, unable to keep up with the times. However, lately, their career took a massive upswing thanks to a couple of decent, well-received albums. They've been selling out bigger venues again and their dignity has returned. 

It felt like old times heading along to the Barrowlands. Many of the punters wore denim jackets, proudly displaying their heavy metal band patches on the back. With shoulder-length hair, you couldn't tell their age until they turned around. To misquote Aerosmith, Dude looks like a grandpa.

Inside, the venue was already rammed, despite it being a good forty minutes before the special guests, Diamond Head, were due on (at 8 pm). The crowd was mainly male and older so perhaps that explained why it felt so busy. Men of my age tend to be on the larger side. However, youth was still well represented. They were just further forward. 

I found a spot with a good view behind a few ladies who were shorter than me and waited for my pals to arrive. At 7.45 pm, the lights went down with still no sign of my friends.  

Diamond Head were better than I expected. The singer's vocals were powerful, as was his presence, and they sounded great, far better than most Special Guests. I even knew two of their songs: In the Heat of the Night and Am I Evil? A superior support act I'd say. I did find it amusing how the bald lead singer would try to chinbang with his ginger beard. I suppose it was a statement gesture.

During the break, my pals found me, including one superfan from Dunbar who'd taken Bob's spare ticket after Doug dropped out. The big punters also started to push their way in, including two tall blokes with a pint in each hand who stood in front of us, while we had our backs turned. Nothing you can do though except wait for the band to come on and hope they move.  

Saxon were loud and noisy, sometimes to the detriment of the tune. Biff Byford still has a striking presence, albeit a more portly, jowly one and his vocals often rely on after-effects to carry the sound. At seventy-one, you can forgive him this though. He still has that twinkle of humour behind his eyes and isn't afraid to laugh at himself for not remembering it was a Monday, not Friday. At least he knew he was in Glasgow. I wasn't sure why he kept touching his crotch though. Maybe his prostate was playing up.

They played a good mix of old and new songs and I particularly enjoyed The Power and the Glory and Dallas 1pm. I don't think they were as good as when I first saw them but they put on a good show for us. I think the stage was a little smaller than they were used to but it was nice to see the eagle emblems on the Marshall speakers even if we couldn't get the massive eagle lighting rig of their shows of yore. 

During the set, another two tall punters, a man and a girl, forced their way forward, leading the way through the crowd with their pints. By then, the two tall blokes were now on our right, having edged over. The new pair pushed past them and stopped directly in front. Words were exchanged, one tall bloke unhappy at someone even taller blocking his view. His pal abandoned him to get more alcohol. It turned out he needn't have bothered. The argument escalated and the one who remained ended up with half a pint chucked over his face, the tall girl having had enough of his jostling. Bob and I couldn't help but chuckle. The tall bloke was fuming but impotent to respond. It was the funniest thing I'd seen in ages. The tall couple left shortly afterwards, probably because she needed to replace her drink.

Ticket price: £30 (plus bf). 

Setlist  

Motorcycle Man

Carpe Diem (Seize the Day)

Wheels of Steel

Age of Steam

Heavy Metal Thunder

Razamanaz (Nazareth cover)

Strong Arm of the Law

Dogs of War / Solid Ball of Rock

The Eagle Has Landed

Never Surrender

Dallas 1 PM

Black Is the Night

20,000 Ft

And the Bands Played On

Power and the Glory

747 (Strangers in the Night)

Encore:

The Pilgrimage

Denim and Leather

Encore 2:

Princess of the Night