Showing posts with label Citizens Theatre. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Citizens Theatre. Show all posts

Wednesday, 24 June 2026

Citizens Theatre Heritage Building Tour, 11 am, Wednesday 24th June, 2026.

Publicity shot - Not our tour

I was meant to attend this tour back in January, but a clash with a funeral meant I had to reschedule. Stupidly, I entered the new date incorrectly in my diary, thinking it was on Friday. Fortunately, I spotted the notification on my phone early enough for us to get there on time.


Our group of mostly retirees gathered in the cafe. I overheard one elderly man discussing how he'd first attended a show here back in 1973. His friend replied that he'd still been in nursery at the time. 

The tour started promptly at 11 am. We had two hosts: Patricia and Neil. Patricia was a volunteer who provided us with most of the information - the dates and details; Neil has worked in the Theatre for over twenty-five years, and he added the anecdotal garnish, with tales of productions and performers. The combination worked well.

As a working theatre, some areas were off-limits to our tour. We were also told we were forbidden from taking photos of any of the staff.   

Black Box Theatre

We began the tour at the Black Box Theatre. It has direct street access (which is unusual for a theatre), seats 152, and can be converted into a rehearsal space by pushing the seating back. One remarkable fact is that the seats here share the same density as a human, so the acoustics remain perfect even if the seat is empty. 


The ceiling has a grill, enabling technicians to walk across it without fear of falling (except it's high up and feels like being on a trampoline, so perhaps not entirely scare-free). 


From there, we were led to the stalls of the renovated main theatre. Previously, the space had been dark and cramped, with black walls and poor lighting, and a capacity of approximately 1,000. Now, the 650 seats (in total) are plush and comfortable, with air conditioning installed beneath the ones here in the stalls. Unfortunately, no one told this to the kids who attended the Pantomime, some of whom thought the plates were drains for their beverages.


The Citizens has its own in-house costume, set and prop departments, a rare asset in today's theatre world. They created the painting of The Searchers, which was used as a backdrop in the recent production of The Long Drop. It was painted directly onto the rough brickwork and, under certain lighting conditions, could be made to disappear. While t
he sets have been retained, as there is talk of a return of the successful production, the painting will, unfortunately, be returned to black before the next show.


Sustainability is a huge deal for the Theatre, so nearly all sets and costumes are recycled or repurposed. We weren't allowed into those departments because teams were hard at work. The show must go on, as they say. No time to allow visitors a swatch. 

Originally, the theatre sat beside The Palace Theatre, with a third one in between, at the end of the connecting close. It was, not surprisingly, known as The Close Theatre. It also had the nickname "The Blood and Glitter Theatre" due to its outlandish productions. A production of Shakespeare would not be as tame as what you'd get in London's more traditional West End. As such, it attracted outrage in the press and, accordingly, regularly sold out. The theatre, unfortunately, burned down in 1973.

The Palace Theatre went on to become a cinema, then a bingo hall, then a derelict, before being purchased by the City Council, who left it to rot further. A storm brought the roof down, so they decided to demolish it. With only twenty-four hours' notice, a few civic-minded individuals rescued as much of the interior as they could. It had been designed around an Indian colonial theme, so that's where the elephant statues seen in the Citizens corridor came from. Other items are in storage, pending display.
 

Next, we were taken down to the Understage. The lower area is not in use now, but it was preserved during the renovation so people can see how the staging operated before the theatre had electricity, using ropes, pulleys, and counterweights. The ghost trap got removed in the 1950s after an actor became injured when it suddenly dropped. We were also informed about the Citizens Corsican Trap, which allowed actors to rise vertically, appearing to float. Its construction was a trade secret, known only to the original builders.

The rake of the old stage was steeper than in other theatres, which was a problem for touring productions because their sets would roll downstage towards the audience. The new stage has a more acceptable gradient (1:17), while retaining visibility and intimacy.  

Next, we journeyed up the stairs to the Circle of the main theatre. Here, Patricia explained that, in olden days, this was where the wealthy sat, clinking their jewellery, while the plebs sat on the benches in the stalls. She pointed out that the boxes had no view of the stage. The individuals there were seen as possessing status and wealth.

She told us the tale of the first pantomime, Ali Baba, which resulted in a riot when the scenery malfunctioned, bringing the production to a halt. The manager sent his wife out to calm the angry audience, to no avail. The manager didn't last long after that.

She also mentioned tales of the various ghosts that have been spotted: an actor, a monk and a hooded figure. One worker once witnessed the apparition of a Victorian lady and refused to return. 

The area once housed the city's Leper Hospital, run by monks. Lepers from all over were sent there. These were known locally as 'Gorbs'. There is a suggestion that the name "The Gorbals" derives from these lepers, as they wore bells, hence "gorb bells".

In 1945, the theatre changed its name from the Royal Princess's Theatre to the Citizens Theatre when the Citizens Theatre Company relocated there. In 1969, the triumvirate of Giles Havergal, Philip Prowse and Robert David MacDonald took over and brought about a renaissance, during which the theatre developed a global reputation for excellence, for producing experimental works, and for its outreach programmes with local community groups.  

Lastly, we were shown down a corridor that overlooks the paint room and the fly room. The innovation in the former is that the canvas can be raised and lowered, rather than requiring the artist to use ladders or work on the floor. Afterwards, the canvas can be slid through a slot in the wall onto the stage. The corridor will host more audiovisual presentations later, but I took a few snaps of the displays.









The fly floor

    

The final image shows the six statues that topped the frontage of the old theatre. These were retained and still sit proudly above the theatre. They denote four muses (art, dance, music and drama), as well as Robert Burns and William Shakespeare.


The theatre retains links with community groups today. This installation is by women from the Lilias Centre, a custody unit. It's visually striking, but none of the artists has been able to visit as they are still detained at His Majesty's pleasure. 

This print, on display on the first floor balcony, is a copy of the giant one unveiled during the theatre's reopening ceremony. It bears representations of time, from the past through the present to the future.

The heritage tour is still being developed, but even at this early stage, it's a fascinating journey. A lovely way to spend an hour and a half.

Ticket Price: £8 x 2 plus £2.50 fee = £18.50 from Citizens Theatre.  

Thursday, 26 March 2026

GICF: Des Clarke "Life After Des", Citizens Theatre, Glasgow. Thursday 26th March, 2026


The cynic in me might think this show was an excuse for Des to dredge up his old bangers from ten years ago, the last time he did regular standup. When your set includes references to the attempted terrorist bombing at Glasgow airport (2007), jokes about Scottish contestants on Family Fortunes ("Name a kind of bean", buzz, "A lesbian") and Wheel of Fortune (Can I have a G for Jumper please),  and carrying the Olympic torch through Glasgow (2012), you realise he's replaying his greatest hits.

But that would be unkind. He is, but he knows it. And he does it very well.

Advert inside the unisex toilet door

Des grew up in the Gorbals in the high flats ("My nickname was Lemonade because I lived 7 up"), so this show, at the Citizens, is a homecoming for him. He's proud that he's been able to fill this theatre, the audience full of friends, family and fans (the front row is full of his aunts and cousins). He admits at the start that he's shitting himself, hoping it goes well, which it does. His natural charm and loquacity keep us engaged, even on the rare occasion when he fluffs a routine (he kept mixing up the accents about a conversation with an American tourist in Edinburgh. His material is well-constructed, rich in humour, and delivered with perfect timing.  

We feel warmth towards him because he presents as a local, working-class boy who done good. He often makes himself the butt of his jokes, such as when he accidentally did a Prince Charles impression in front of the man, or when he got flustered and forgot the Olympic torch-carrying information, then messed up his section of the run. He's not cocky about his success. He can't believe he's got as far as he has. 

I would say, though, if he decides to do another show, he'll need to come up with some fresh material.

The support act was Scottish comedian Robin Grainger. Robin opened with a routine harking back to 2022 when he performed a show at the Edinburgh Fringe to an audience of one, also known as an audient. The story snowballed when it was reported in The Scotsman, with Robin ending up giving press interviews to news organisations across the globe, becoming an overnight media sensation. He also commented on being single and dressing like a teen. His bath routine finale was hilarious. He's an engaging, funny and confident performer, but I don't know if I'd pay to see his show. He's still more of a mid-level performer.

A view of Grado and Adele  

On the Heart Radio Breakfast show, which Des co-hosts with Grado and Adele, listeners were asked which walk-on music Des should use, with the EastEnders theme and The One and Only by Chesney Hawkes mooted. In the end, he went with Back in Black by AC/DC, matching his stage apparel. 

The preshow music was suitably mainstream and of broad appeal to his radio audience.
House of Fun - Madness
Give a Little Bit - Supertramp
Send Me On My Way - Rusted Root
Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode
Once In a Lifetime - Talking Heads
Me and Julio Down By the Schoolyard - Paul Simon
Home - Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

At the interval, the woman on my left jiggled her bum so much to Jump In the Line by Harry Belafonte, I thought I was getting a lap dance. I enjoyed watching the ushers tell off the other patrons in the front row of the Circle for placing their drinks on the balcony shelf. I'd either be sending the ushers telepathic signals, urging them to pounce, or trying to muster telekinesis to knock the drink over the side.   

My eye was drawn to one of the statues within the room. I suspect she may be a distant relative of the Weeping Angels, known as a Saucy Angel, intended to make their victims look away. 
Don't blush!
Before you know it, you'd be living in the Noughties with a family of four and another on the way, thinking to yourself, "Where is that large automobile? This is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife! Well... how did I get here?" 

At least, Des's material would be new.

Ticket Price: £27 x2 + Booking Fee £1.50 = £55.50 from the Citizens Theatre website.



Saturday, 21 March 2026

GICF: Mike Wozniak "The Bench", Citizens Theatre, Glasgow. Saturday 21st March 2026


So what do Yare Dabestanie Man by Fareydoon Foroughi, Which Side Are You On by The Almanac SingersОй, у лузі червона калина by гурт Ятрань, Sukiyaki by Kyu Sakamoto, La paloma de la paz by Chicho Sachez FerlosioŻeby Polska była Polską by 
Jan Pietrzak, E Depois Do Adeus by Paulo de Carvalho, St'armata! by Petros Pandis and 99 Luftballons by Nena all have in common?

You would know if you attended Mike Wozniak's show, though you might not have realised the answer at the time, unless, like me, you have an ear for the unusual (or a handy Shazam app). 

Mike arrives on stage dressed in his usual brown suit and immediately asks if there are any amateur (or professional) sleuths in the audience. He needs our help to solve a mystery over who burnt down his village's memorial bench. 

The list of pertinent characters is massive (practically everyone in the village gets a mention), though he tends to go around the houses, as it were, detailing the obscure minutiae of their relevance in case it helps. The level of detail gets so deep, it almost becomes tangential.  The humour comes from the most unexpected and surreal of places, such as (insert name), whose husband died in Namibia, from stubbing his toe... on a leopard. 

Having provided his evidence on the matter, the show's second half is much looser, as he asks the audience to shout out further questions, freewheeling in response, batting away our suspicions, and explaining why every culprit has an alibi 'to the max'.

I particularly enjoyed his explanation as to why he couldn't be the culprit. As secretary of the village's Northern Ireland Troubles Reenactment Society, he was appearing as Gerry Adams on the night in question at a secret meeting originally held in 1962.   

The ending is a delight as he casually drops the answer without realising it. 

And so the case remains unsolved.  

(Thankfully, there was no repeat of the seating fiasco that we'd witnessed at Mark Simmons. This time, the ushers scanned every ticket electronically as we entered to take our seats)

(The refurbished Citizens Theatre does not skimp on the lecky when it comes to auditorium lighting. They have so many bright light bulbs, you need sunglasses to look up).  

Ticket Price: 2 x £24.50 + Booking fee: £1.50  = Total: £50.50, direct from the Citizens Theatre website.